Being down over half a day, on literally the most important day of this website's life, would never have happened. When is enough, enough? Let your hearts and penises and vaginas decide.
#neverforget
Well there are a few things you could do to help your candidacy. These are proven methods to guarantee success.
#1.
Carry a small child over burning coaIs in your bare feet. This is a tried and true method dating back to 1200 AD. (Do NOT drop the child!)
#2.
Ride a horse through a hexagon of fire. This will raise your approval rating by 3 points overnight.
#3.
Swim the English channel at sundown. You'll have all night to negotiate the 21 miles.
#4.
Fly through the eye of a catagory 5 hurricane while getting hit by large colorful lightning bolts. Without peeing.
#5.
Peeing into a live glowing volcano without burning your penis. You lose points for a scorched peen.
#6.
Go to Acapulco and dive off a cliff. It's fun and this is without a silly bungee cord. Just aim past the lower cliffs, most people make it.
#7.
Under my name where it says Well-known member, I want you to change that to: Home of the big 10 inch, over 100 served since July, 1969.
I have campaign experience and I'm not currently indicted or under investigation.
Have your people call my people and we'll get this ball rolling.
Your coronation could be on the 4th of July if all goes as expected.