WoldofWeedcraft
Well-Known Member
A tampax and a kotex tampon were talking down the street. What did they say to eachother?
Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches.
Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches.
Joke of the day
- Thread starter mygirls
- Start date
Toke+Choke
Well-Known Member
ISNT THIS OFF THE T.V. PROGRAM SCRUBSno one has an answer.
you said one isnt a dime so could the other coin be a dime ???
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: 'Dddoo you uh hhave ddilldos?'
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing,
replies: 'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.'
The old woman then asks: 'Ddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk onne, tttenn inchesss llong a a and aabbout twoo inchess ththiick ... aaand rruns by bbaatteries?'
The clerk responds, 'Yes we do'
She asks: 'Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offfff?
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: 'Dddoo you uh hhave ddilldos?'
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing,
replies: 'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.'
The old woman then asks: 'Ddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk onne, tttenn inchesss llong a a and aabbout twoo inchess ththiick ... aaand rruns by bbaatteries?'
The clerk responds, 'Yes we do'
She asks: 'Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offfff?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'well…The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit!
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'well…The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit!
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear," she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck..."
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear," she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck..."
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in
horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing
the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin,
fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical
therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd
allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few
minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the
fetal position, stillclasping his hands there at his
groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long
moments and asked, "How does that feel?"
He replied, "It feels great but...
I still think my thumb's broken."
horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing
the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men.
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin,
fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical
therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd
allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few
minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the
fetal position, stillclasping his hands there at his
groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long
moments and asked, "How does that feel?"
He replied, "It feels great but...
I still think my thumb's broken."
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
FART FOOTBALL
ok so to buddies go into a bar to have a few beers, the one friend says to the other you want to play fart football he says sure how. the friend says i'll go1st so you can see how its played. so he slams his beer then says touch down then leans over onto on check a farts and says field goal extra point good. now b4 the friend can take his turn another guy jumps in the game and slams his beer and says touch down then farts and says field goal extra point good. so no it the friends turn he slams his beer says touch down leans over over to fart and the guy goes running up sticks his dick in his ass and says field goal blocked extra point NOGOOD.
ok so to buddies go into a bar to have a few beers, the one friend says to the other you want to play fart football he says sure how. the friend says i'll go1st so you can see how its played. so he slams his beer then says touch down then leans over onto on check a farts and says field goal extra point good. now b4 the friend can take his turn another guy jumps in the game and slams his beer and says touch down then farts and says field goal extra point good. so no it the friends turn he slams his beer says touch down leans over over to fart and the guy goes running up sticks his dick in his ass and says field goal blocked extra point NOGOOD.
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
man goes up to a woman and asks do you know any thing about real estate shes replies not really so he pulls his pants down and says IS THIS A LOT.
man asks a woman what do you know about logging she replies not much just what i've seen on tv so he drops his pants and says IS THIS A CHOKER.
man asks a woman what do you know about logging she replies not much just what i've seen on tv so he drops his pants and says IS THIS A CHOKER.
simpsonsampson420
Well-Known Member
a man has been drinking at a bar... after a few hours of hitting the bottle, he has to take a piss.. so he gets up and stumbles across the bar to the bathroom..
upon entering the bathroom he sees a leprechaun standing on the far end... he runs up and grabs him..
"your a leprechaun" the man slurs
"sure am" the leprechaun replies
"since i caught you i want your pot of gold"
well someone else caught me earlier, so they got my pot of gold. so instead how about 3 wishes?"
the man thinks about it for a moment and agrees..
"for my first wish i want a cherry red corvette convertible"
the leprachaun says "ok, you can have your corvetter, but you'll have to suck my dick for an hour."
the man, throw off by this, freezes.. after a few moments of further contimplation decides its worth the car and does it..
after an hour the leprechaun tells the man he has his car
for his second wish the man decides he wants 4 big tittied blond women to go with his new car.. the leprechaun agrees but the man will need to "suck his dick" for another hour... the man thinks for just a moment and decides its worth it and gets down and does it.. again he is drunk so his judgment is REALLY impared..
for his third wish he asks for 10 million dollars.. again the leprechaun agress, but this time before he even says anything the man is down on his knees..
upon finishing the man, excited as he can be, shakes the leperchauns hand and begins thanking him, and starts towards the bathroom door..
"when you leave here tonight your car, women, and money will be outside waiting" the leperchaun tells him..
as the man opens the door he turns back.
"wow" he says "i cant believe i caught a leperchaun!"
with a smile on his face, the leperchaun says "well, i cant believe you ACTUALLY thought i was a leperchaun."
upon entering the bathroom he sees a leprechaun standing on the far end... he runs up and grabs him..
"your a leprechaun" the man slurs
"sure am" the leprechaun replies
"since i caught you i want your pot of gold"
well someone else caught me earlier, so they got my pot of gold. so instead how about 3 wishes?"
the man thinks about it for a moment and agrees..
"for my first wish i want a cherry red corvette convertible"
the leprachaun says "ok, you can have your corvetter, but you'll have to suck my dick for an hour."
the man, throw off by this, freezes.. after a few moments of further contimplation decides its worth the car and does it..
after an hour the leprechaun tells the man he has his car
for his second wish the man decides he wants 4 big tittied blond women to go with his new car.. the leprechaun agrees but the man will need to "suck his dick" for another hour... the man thinks for just a moment and decides its worth it and gets down and does it.. again he is drunk so his judgment is REALLY impared..
for his third wish he asks for 10 million dollars.. again the leprechaun agress, but this time before he even says anything the man is down on his knees..
upon finishing the man, excited as he can be, shakes the leperchauns hand and begins thanking him, and starts towards the bathroom door..
"when you leave here tonight your car, women, and money will be outside waiting" the leperchaun tells him..
as the man opens the door he turns back.
"wow" he says "i cant believe i caught a leperchaun!"
with a smile on his face, the leperchaun says "well, i cant believe you ACTUALLY thought i was a leperchaun."
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
ok so mygirls calls up simpsosampson and asks if he want to go to a party, theres going to be lots and lots of drugs lots of sex, and lots of fighting. and simsam says ya i'll go who's all going too be there, mygirls says just me and you........................hahahahahahahahaha LOL
ROBINBANKS
New Member
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.
The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
ROBINBANKS
New Member
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Two guys were picked up by the cops for selling drugs and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said:[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and persuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one:[/FONT]
"Well, your honour, I persuaded 10 people to give up drugs forever."
"10 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honour. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)
"Well, your honour, I persuaded 50 people to give up drugs forever."
"50 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"
"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison...." [/FONT]
ROBINBANKS
New Member
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.
The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"
The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."
1puff2puff3puff
Well-Known Member
Why are there no white trash fertility clinics?
They would just have to tell the women to try another brother.
What do you call the moisture between two white trash people having sex?
Relative humidity.
A white trash man and a white trash woman don't want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in NY. The doctor asks what state he is from and the man says that he is from Alabama. The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California. When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in New York told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right. So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. ''1...2...3...4...5...'' The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. ''6...7...8...9...''
This guy walks into a white trash bar and orders a white wine.
Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
Hank and Jenny Sue, both white trash, went for a walk in the countryside. After a while, Hank had to answer a call of nature. Spying an outhouse, he excused himself. Jenny Sue waited for Hank...and waited, and waited. Finally, she looked inside and saw Hank stirring around in the outhouse muck with a stick. "Hank, what the hell are you doing, stirring in the shit?" she yells. "I dropped my jacket down the hole," he complains. "It's the one my momma gave me." Jenny Sue shakes her head. "You're crazy ... you're not gonna wear that thing now, are you?" "Hell no," Hank assures her, "but there's a baloney sandwich in one of the pockets!"
You know your White Trash when....
You've ever scraped your elbows trying to get something out of a dumpster.
Your kids use Cheeze Whiz in place of toothpaste.
You clean fish on your ironing board.
Your favorite color is shiny.
You wish you could bend your head down as far as your dog can.
You fix slower-than-dog-shit traffic lights with a 12 gauge shotgun.
You know where to get government cheese.
Your attorney can be reached at 1-800-WIP-LASH.
Your kids are the source of school head lice epidemics.
Your kids end up on milk cartons before you notice they're missing.
Your wife thinks her thighs look thinner in Spandex.
You keep your shed more secure than your house.
You wish those nosy, pencil-pushing retards at the Division of Insurance Fraud would leave
you the hell alone.
You live in Toledo, Ohio because you want to.
You've seen someone spray their telephone with Lysol after you used it.
Your Job skills include being handy with cattle prod and knowing how to roll back an odometer.
You've ever told your wife that Jean-Claude Van Damme is a Homo.
Your kids give meaning to the term 'nose mining'.
You put Kool-Aid in baby bottles.
You keep spare Ferris wheel parts in your shed.
Your wife asks about layaway at flea markets.
Your girlfriend breaks her ankle bracelets on your rearview mirror.
Your idea of good luck is finding arm rest towels to match leopard skin slip covers.
Your dad had a real knack for finding things at the dump that were "too damned good" to be
thrown away.
Your wife poses for the BEFORE pictures in miracle weight loss ads.
You've ever threatened to kill one of the neighbor kids for messing with your tackle box.
Your wife's favorite wedding present was a pair of goggles.
You think a pap smear is what daddy wipes on his jeans after a healthy sneeze.
You know which end of the chicken a possum prefers to eat first.
The sight of a Slim Jim makes your wife's mouth water.
You know how mountain oysters taste, or for that matter, you know what they are.
You think Samsonite is someone you read about in the Bible.
You'd rather watch Cops than Seinfeld.
You bought a metal detector after your kids found a quarter buried in the sofa cushions.
Your mom and dad shared everything - including a set of teeth.
Your refrigerator has a coat of auto primer on it.
Your boss has to check with the probation department before firming up reservations for the
company picnics.
Your contest entry on "How to Avoid the Repo Man" won you a set of jumper cables.
Your mother told a State Trooper she'd take a beathalyzer when her butt learned how to
chew bubblegum.
You pay extra lot rent for the privilege of being within walking distance to the dumpster.
You crochet things for toasters and toilet paper.
You smoke fish in your trunk.
You grew up believing a woman with no teeth was gifted.
Your idea of foreplay is telling your wife she better be in bed by the time you count to 4.
Your boss invited you to go hunting when he found out you could make duck calls with your
armpit.
One of your relatives went bankrupt after winning the lottery.
Your husband remembers you bra size since it's the same as his IQ.
You get discount coupons from the abortion clinic.
Your husband uses engine degreaser in place of shampoo.
You buy teeth through the mail.
You have to cut the feet off your panty hose so you can get them over your ankles.
Your sister runs a dating service on her CB called Trucker Tail.
Your car seat covers used to be a chenille bedspread.
You've ever been tempted to make a night crawler chip dip.
Your local laundromat doubles as your day care center.
You figure you're entitled to use 7-Eleven as your business address since you use the pay
phone and restroom there.
Your first training bra came from GoodWill and had cups the size of basketball hoops.
You've tried to get credit with your sweepstakes finalist notifications.
Your dad always thought that having more than one toothbrush in the house was a waist of
money.
Your kids take empty beer bottles to school for Show-and-Tell.
Your boss keeps a bail bondsman on the payroll - just in case.
You've ever had to fish one of your wife's favorite shoes out of the septic tank.
You think a mammogram is that funny little picture they're putting on credit cards now.
Your kids think Hamburger Helper is one of the major food groups.
You ever taken a six pack to a graveside service.
Your wife says she'd dust more often if you bought her a leaf blower.
You went ahead and ordered that lackhead remover since it came with a free potato peeler.
Your wife fixes the dents in her car with STOP sign and spot welder.
Your kids supply the neighborhood with WILL WORK FOR FOOD signs.
You've ever been assaulted with a toilet seat.
Your kids have to call a 1-900 phone sex number if they need to reach you at work.
You store an emergency six-pack in the toliet tank.
Your dashboard doubles as a religious shrine.
Your husband's idea of an extended orgasm is holding back until he gets his zipper down.
They would just have to tell the women to try another brother.
What do you call the moisture between two white trash people having sex?
Relative humidity.
A white trash man and a white trash woman don't want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in NY. The doctor asks what state he is from and the man says that he is from Alabama. The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California. When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Alabama, he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in New York told him. The husband figures that the doctors must be right. So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. ''1...2...3...4...5...'' The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. ''6...7...8...9...''
This guy walks into a white trash bar and orders a white wine.
Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
Hank and Jenny Sue, both white trash, went for a walk in the countryside. After a while, Hank had to answer a call of nature. Spying an outhouse, he excused himself. Jenny Sue waited for Hank...and waited, and waited. Finally, she looked inside and saw Hank stirring around in the outhouse muck with a stick. "Hank, what the hell are you doing, stirring in the shit?" she yells. "I dropped my jacket down the hole," he complains. "It's the one my momma gave me." Jenny Sue shakes her head. "You're crazy ... you're not gonna wear that thing now, are you?" "Hell no," Hank assures her, "but there's a baloney sandwich in one of the pockets!"
You know your White Trash when....
You've ever scraped your elbows trying to get something out of a dumpster.
Your kids use Cheeze Whiz in place of toothpaste.
You clean fish on your ironing board.
Your favorite color is shiny.
You wish you could bend your head down as far as your dog can.
You fix slower-than-dog-shit traffic lights with a 12 gauge shotgun.
You know where to get government cheese.
Your attorney can be reached at 1-800-WIP-LASH.
Your kids are the source of school head lice epidemics.
Your kids end up on milk cartons before you notice they're missing.
Your wife thinks her thighs look thinner in Spandex.
You keep your shed more secure than your house.
You wish those nosy, pencil-pushing retards at the Division of Insurance Fraud would leave
you the hell alone.
You live in Toledo, Ohio because you want to.
You've seen someone spray their telephone with Lysol after you used it.
Your Job skills include being handy with cattle prod and knowing how to roll back an odometer.
You've ever told your wife that Jean-Claude Van Damme is a Homo.
Your kids give meaning to the term 'nose mining'.
You put Kool-Aid in baby bottles.
You keep spare Ferris wheel parts in your shed.
Your wife asks about layaway at flea markets.
Your girlfriend breaks her ankle bracelets on your rearview mirror.
Your idea of good luck is finding arm rest towels to match leopard skin slip covers.
Your dad had a real knack for finding things at the dump that were "too damned good" to be
thrown away.
Your wife poses for the BEFORE pictures in miracle weight loss ads.
You've ever threatened to kill one of the neighbor kids for messing with your tackle box.
Your wife's favorite wedding present was a pair of goggles.
You think a pap smear is what daddy wipes on his jeans after a healthy sneeze.
You know which end of the chicken a possum prefers to eat first.
The sight of a Slim Jim makes your wife's mouth water.
You know how mountain oysters taste, or for that matter, you know what they are.
You think Samsonite is someone you read about in the Bible.
You'd rather watch Cops than Seinfeld.
You bought a metal detector after your kids found a quarter buried in the sofa cushions.
Your mom and dad shared everything - including a set of teeth.
Your refrigerator has a coat of auto primer on it.
Your boss has to check with the probation department before firming up reservations for the
company picnics.
Your contest entry on "How to Avoid the Repo Man" won you a set of jumper cables.
Your mother told a State Trooper she'd take a beathalyzer when her butt learned how to
chew bubblegum.
You pay extra lot rent for the privilege of being within walking distance to the dumpster.
You crochet things for toasters and toilet paper.
You smoke fish in your trunk.
You grew up believing a woman with no teeth was gifted.
Your idea of foreplay is telling your wife she better be in bed by the time you count to 4.
Your boss invited you to go hunting when he found out you could make duck calls with your
armpit.
One of your relatives went bankrupt after winning the lottery.
Your husband remembers you bra size since it's the same as his IQ.
You get discount coupons from the abortion clinic.
Your husband uses engine degreaser in place of shampoo.
You buy teeth through the mail.
You have to cut the feet off your panty hose so you can get them over your ankles.
Your sister runs a dating service on her CB called Trucker Tail.
Your car seat covers used to be a chenille bedspread.
You've ever been tempted to make a night crawler chip dip.
Your local laundromat doubles as your day care center.
You figure you're entitled to use 7-Eleven as your business address since you use the pay
phone and restroom there.
Your first training bra came from GoodWill and had cups the size of basketball hoops.
You've tried to get credit with your sweepstakes finalist notifications.
Your dad always thought that having more than one toothbrush in the house was a waist of
money.
Your kids take empty beer bottles to school for Show-and-Tell.
Your boss keeps a bail bondsman on the payroll - just in case.
You've ever had to fish one of your wife's favorite shoes out of the septic tank.
You think a mammogram is that funny little picture they're putting on credit cards now.
Your kids think Hamburger Helper is one of the major food groups.
You ever taken a six pack to a graveside service.
Your wife says she'd dust more often if you bought her a leaf blower.
You went ahead and ordered that lackhead remover since it came with a free potato peeler.
Your wife fixes the dents in her car with STOP sign and spot welder.
Your kids supply the neighborhood with WILL WORK FOR FOOD signs.
You've ever been assaulted with a toilet seat.
Your kids have to call a 1-900 phone sex number if they need to reach you at work.
You store an emergency six-pack in the toliet tank.
Your dashboard doubles as a religious shrine.
Your husband's idea of an extended orgasm is holding back until he gets his zipper down.
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
ok Fhara goes up to heaven in front of god, and god says to her, be4 i let you in heaven what do you want, FHARA says i just want all the kids in the word to be safe that's all just to be safe. god thinks for a minute then says OK now michael jackson is dead......
mygirls
Medical Marijuana (MOD)
ok so i got pulled over and when the cop came up to the window hes says your eyes are red have you been drinking or smoking marijuana, so i reply to him officer your eyes are also glazed over have you been eating donuts.
and i would like to know can a bold man get a hair line fracture.
and i would like to know can a bold man get a hair line fracture.