Monogamy, babies, "responsibility" and free market dating

While out navigating the dating scene, I've encountered some recurring attitudes with women in general. As a guy, I can't help but check out every girl I see, and I have to flirt with all the cute ones. This doesn't mean I sleep with even a fraction of these girls, but I have to at least give it a shot. There is also a certain sense of honor I feel, I never lie in order to sleep with them, I don't even really try to hide my opinions either. Its no surprise that I've never been in a "serious" relationship in my 27 years on this planet, but I've never had a problem getting laid. I have just as much fun trying to get laid as the act itself, studying her body language, all the dynamics involved in the courting process. I'm both an engineer and a salesman, so I'm highly logical but also socially aware.

Trying to understand the thought process that goes into "traditional" relationships perplexes me. Almost all the girls I've encountered want a "responsible" guy, to get married, and have kids. We live in a free market so they can seek whatever gives them satisfaction in life. That is just not something that I ever want for myself, because I don't see the reason to invest in that over the alternative. The alternative in this case is living the rest of your life EXACTLY how YOU want it. No kids to provide for, no one to answer to, 100% ownership of all your personal assets, complete freedom to sleep with anyone.

There are couples who I believe are truly in love, who work hard to take care of their families, and I have a deep respect for them. Having kids and choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions anyone will ever make. People who don't want any of that should feel no shame either though. So what if I want to wake up every morning, smoke a bowl, create amazing engineering creations, and enjoy my life? WAYYY to many girls I've met don't want a guy to watch porn, smoke weed, drink, hit on other girls, buy toys for himself. The ones I've met want a guy to provide for them, accept all their baggage, stay faithful, and give them a child/children.

Its in my nature to distill things down to the most useful components. Sure sex feels good, but so does solo sex. Essentially the grand finale of both acts is virtually identical. The carnal human needs are met, and life proceeds as usual. The difference in cost is drastically different, pregnancy, stds, and emotional attachment. The other reasonable motivation is companionship and partnership. Dogs provide great companionship and are far easier and less expensive than children. A great group of trustworthy friends and non-sexual partners could easily accomplish the same feat. I'm just trying to look at things purely objectively.. A few months ago I slept with a girl who became extremely attached, she had a kid from a previous marriage. We hung out and had a good time together, but she wanted to get re-married and have another kid one day. This, plus the fact that she was anti-weed was more than enough to end it with her. After I ended it she was very hurt and bitter, and gave me the guilt trip of how I used her. Then she tried to claim she was pregnant. We only had sex 3 times, used brand new store bought condoms every time, and she was on the BC pill. She then told me she was getting an abortion to try to make me feel bad and get out of her lie. That situation is all over now and I'm getting a vasectomy as soon as possible! haha. I never want any kids, and with some of my hobbies it would be very wise if I lived alone...

Please get a vasectomy and try and be honest with women since ur doing so with urself . Honestly u belong on AFF... People meet up just to fuck. At least this way ur not hurting anyone. I never get why men use women for sex when they can join a site and find plenty of people like them who want nsa adult fun. Did u tell the lady mentioned that u only wanted sex ?? If ur not being honest don't expect the women ur fucking to handle ur rejection well.

Yup.......

From what you've said, I can see that you've never truly loved someone. Loving someone changes everything, including what you want out of life and what you view as something you feel will make you happy. At 27, if you want a vasectomy, get one... get a dog and stay single. Sounds like that's what you want, so don't play around with a woman's emotions knowing you want nothing but a superficial relationship. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that in my opinion... there are many women out there that want the same thing, at least for a portion of their life.

FebreezeIt said:

Sure sex feels good, but so does solo sex. Essentially the grand finale of both acts is virtually identical. The carnal human needs are met, and life proceeds as usual.

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TOTALLY disagree... lol maybe it's different for men, but sex with someone that knows what I like and what I don't like is a COMPLETELY different experience than a guy that hasn't a clue. That, and sex with someone you love is a totally different experience all in itself.

BygonEra said:

From what you've said, I can see that you've never truly loved someone. Loving someone changes everything, including what you want out of life and what you view as something you feel will make you happy. At 27, if you want a vasectomy, get one... get a dog and stay single. Sounds like that's what you want, so don't play around with a woman's emotions knowing you want nothing but a superficial relationship. And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that in my opinion... there are many women out there that want the same thing, at least for a portion of their life.




TOTALLY disagree... lol maybe it's different for men, but sex with someone that knows what I like and what I don't like is a COMPLETELY different experience than a guy that hasn't a clue. That, and sex with someone you love is a totally different experience all in itself.

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I fall in love all the time, whenever there is that chemistry with a cute girl I'm trying to get with. There was this one girl who I really clicked with on all levels, I'm still trying to hook up with her. I was referring to the fireworks at the end, whether we give ourselves that final gratification or someone else does. AFF you have to pay for, and I prefer the analog way to meet girls.

I married my wife of 43 years, when I was 19 & headed for Vietnam in 1969. We're still married. I couldn't imagine going thru life alone. We have shared many life experiences together, (good & bad) over the years. My life partner. I believe I would have been dead if not for her, many times over. You don't know what your missing bro, I feel sorry for you. I hope you don't die a lonely old man.....with a big score sheet. Good luck bro, I think you've chosen a lonely life. I wouldn't trade one day 'single', for all the years we've had together. If I lost my wife, it would be like losing my right arm, hell both arms.

doublejj said:

I married my wife of 43 years, when I was 19 & headed for Vietnam in 1969. We're still married. I couldn't imagine going thru life alone. We have shared many life experiences together, (good & bad) over the years. My life partner. I believe I would have been dead if not for her, many times over. You don't know what your missing bro, I feel sorry for you. I hope you don't die a lonely old man.....with a big score sheet. Good luck bro, I think you've chosen a lonely life. I wouldn't trade one day 'single', for all the years we've had together. If I lost my wife, it would be like losing my right arm, hell both arms.

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Wow man... I can't even imagine what that must be like, that's incredible. You're 110% right, I have no idea what I'm missing at all. That is the catch 22 though... A good friend of mine dated this complete douche for years. She was born with severely disfigured hands and arms in the slums of South America. Her American parents still adopted her knowing full well how much medical care and surgery she would need. This douche used that against her in the worst ways, for years. Everyone in her life did everything they could to give her the courage to stay away from him. Her family is very well off, all the years I've known her she never drove a car less than 2 years old, free. Every one of those vehicles she caused serious damage to, grand total probably around $10,000 in just repairs for stupid shit. Time after time she would go back to him, as we watched in pain. He cheated on her on a weekly basis, stalked her, lied compulsively, bipolar, never could hold any job. Eventually he got her knocked up, and things just got worse..

Her and I used to blaze up all the time, she had a sweet bong. Now she is all self-righteous about how she doesn't "do that anymore" and she is "responsible". 2 weeks ago she was arrested for a DUI. A few months before that she was driving home drunk when she hit something and fucked up her car, $5,000 repair bill. She swears up and down her son is the best thing that's ever happened in her life. The truth is that she never really had to pay for any of her mistakes, her family and friends have suffered and sacrificed. Sure, her kid is cute as a button, but he was still an accident that shouldn't have happened. She can't imagine her life without him now, the catch 22 paradox. Had she never met this horrible person, had she stayed away from him, so much horrible pain and suffering could have been avoided... Now, things are so much worse than they ever were before the baby. It's all out family warfare and no geneva convention. I have thought so hard about this, how is she better off now, than what she (most likely) would have been?

Damn....some people draw the short straw.....that's fucked-up.......I'm a very lucky man......Good luck bro, I hope you find her one day. You'll know it when you see it.........

My dear wife & I not long after I returned from Vietnam.......and the log cabin I built for her..... be honest & keep looking bro.....when you start building a log cabin, you'll know you found the right one.....Good luck ..

FebreezeIt said:

While out navigating the dating scene, I've encountered some recurring attitudes with women in general. As a guy, I can't help but check out every girl I see, and I have to flirt with all the cute ones. This doesn't mean I sleep with even a fraction of these girls, but I have to at least give it a shot. There is also a certain sense of honor I feel, I never lie in order to sleep with them, I don't even really try to hide my opinions either. Its no surprise that I've never been in a "serious" relationship in my 27 years on this planet, but I've never had a problem getting laid. I have just as much fun trying to get laid as the act itself, studying her body language, all the dynamics involved in the courting process. I'm both an engineer and a salesman, so I'm highly logical but also socially aware.

Trying to understand the thought process that goes into "traditional" relationships perplexes me. Almost all the girls I've encountered want a "responsible" guy, to get married, and have kids. We live in a free market so they can seek whatever gives them satisfaction in life. That is just not something that I ever want for myself, because I don't see the reason to invest in that over the alternative. The alternative in this case is living the rest of your life EXACTLY how YOU want it. No kids to provide for, no one to answer to, 100% ownership of all your personal assets, complete freedom to sleep with anyone.

There are couples who I believe are truly in love, who work hard to take care of their families, and I have a deep respect for them. Having kids and choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions anyone will ever make. People who don't want any of that should feel no shame either though. So what if I want to wake up every morning, smoke a bowl, create amazing engineering creations, and enjoy my life? WAYYY to many girls I've met don't want a guy to watch porn, smoke weed, drink, hit on other girls, buy toys for himself. The ones I've met want a guy to provide for them, accept all their baggage, stay faithful, and give them a child/children.

Its in my nature to distill things down to the most useful components. Sure sex feels good, but so does solo sex. Essentially the grand finale of both acts is virtually identical. The carnal human needs are met, and life proceeds as usual. The difference in cost is drastically different, pregnancy, stds, and emotional attachment. The other reasonable motivation is companionship and partnership. Dogs provide great companionship and are far easier and less expensive than children. A great group of trustworthy friends and non-sexual partners could easily accomplish the same feat. I'm just trying to look at things purely objectively.. A few months ago I slept with a girl who became extremely attached, she had a kid from a previous marriage. We hung out and had a good time together, but she wanted to get re-married and have another kid one day. This, plus the fact that she was anti-weed was more than enough to end it with her. After I ended it she was very hurt and bitter, and gave me the guilt trip of how I used her. Then she tried to claim she was pregnant. We only had sex 3 times, used brand new store bought condoms every time, and she was on the BC pill. She then told me she was getting an abortion to try to make me feel bad and get out of her lie. That situation is all over now and I'm getting a vasectomy as soon as possible! haha. I never want any kids, and with some of my hobbies it would be very wise if I lived alone...

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I will focus on the bolded and say No. Partnered sex has the potential, more often met than not ime, of being so much more involving and satisfying that ye olde Manual Override. The glory redeems the cost and effort ... and if it doesn't, the engineer in you will confirm that "you're doing it wrong". cn

When you meet that special person you won't mind changing yourself a bit and sharing what you have.