mysunnyboy
Well-Known Member
Meffed up
Piss test
- Thread starter Itsgrown420
- Start date
DarkWeb
Well-Known Member
Like a M Mmeffer!
setitandforgetit
Active Member
ALWAYS USE A REPUTABLE SYNTHETIC URINE BRAND DONT FALL FOR THE CLEANSE PRODUCTS. worked for me every time.
still_smoked
Well-Known Member
You forgot one important factor which was the amount you smoked before stopping.
if you been smoking straight since elementary smoking blunts everyday...
Maybe clean maybe not.
but everyone is different. You got balls is all Id say. I would of bought a at home test kit first for $20
Ayokiwi717
Well-Known Member
Thc normally stays in the system a week for occasional smokers, and a month for daily. This also depends on your weight, do you work out, water intake, etc.
JoeRogan420
Well-Known Member
yes you do, cowgirl
yeah i can see you itching your skin from here you junk :')
PadawanWarrior
Well-Known Member
Depends on type of test I did one that could pick up if you had paracetamol in last 4 hrs and had drank one of them shakes that mask it failed miserably lol, to be honest I am a massive smoker 32years and still fit as a fiddle. On to the next job.
Itsgrown420
Active Member
Well thx for the posts and comments, should used fake piss. .. . They found marijuana in my system, so I didn't get the job.
RadicalRoss
Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear that, bud. It's an important lesson for next time, though. Don't fuck around with the piss tests, it's a shitty reason not to get a job. Just use fake piss like everyone else next time.
On the plus side it's not like there's a list somewhere of everyone who's popped on a drug test, so you'll be good.
Itsgrown420
Active Member
Yea I'll be fine I'm not things kill myself or anyone else it was my fuck up, I had the fake pee strapped to my leg instead of by my balls where it should been. . . .
Lesson learned for next time I need a drug test....
JoeRogan420
Well-Known Member
practice before u go bro, u will be fine next time and once u pass a couple it will get easier i done 7 or so in last 16 months
DrKiz
Well-Known Member
This, and collect urine mid stream. Not when you first start urinating. Let some go into the toilet before you go into the cup. The first little bit is hotter. You can take it in the morning, just make sure the test isn't your first pee of the day. You want to be overloaded with water and pissing constantly. A half hour before your test you should have pissed. And full when you go in. Piss lots before and midstream baybeeee!
DrKiz
Well-Known Member
They would have nailed you on the "fake" pee anyways. They measure temperature. It has to be body temperature. So yeah, it needs to be tucked into your balls and warm. A 60ml bottle, with a handwarmer taped to it tucked to your balls with someone else's urine works like a charm.
Practice doing it at home.
PadawanWarrior
Well-Known Member
You're totally correct, and I always took a bottle of clean piss from a friend whenever I went to outpatient, but that made me laugh.
Practice at home first steps:
1. Find a clean friend (usually the hardest part).
2. Ask him to pee for you.
3. Hold his wiener in one hand, and the collection jar in the other.
4. Store in the fridge until testing day.
5. Preheat, and serve warm. (I used the scrotom heater).
The people at my rehab center knew I was high, but didn't know how I kept passing.
Itsgrown420
Active Member
That's the thing it was warm, I failed cause I physically peed in the bottle instead of using synthetic..
The bottle said 94 ... I don't have to whitey tighties to keep it in my balls.ypu know of any way else?. I was strapping it to my inner leg with a belt and kept it at 92 all day... (yesterday whole I was working )
JoeRogan420
Well-Known Member
last week was the last one and old mate was standing behind me basically breathing on me, and i only had half hour to prepare, got girlfriends piss and put it in a rinsed out vape juice bottle, with a child proof twist top, and had to open the child lock twist top with two hands while at the same time holding my cock and piss test cup with out mate right behind me, gets the heart going so much, my dick literally wanted to crawl inside me from the nervousness lol i played it off cool and am pretty confident with it, i have had some really high pressure situations happen and have got through them and it just makes me even more confident.
the worst one was at work like 4 months ago at a previous job, the boss after 2 months of working there, came up to me a hour after i started at 8am approx, and said its my lucky day, its time for a drug test, and there was a drug testing van outside the workplace waiting for me to go and donate a sample. i had been carrying a bottle of quick fix with a sealed heat pack strapped to it with a rubber band for 2 months in my pocket :,), worked out good, i thought.
i got very anxious but had to play it off cool, they asked if i thought i would pass, and i said yeah no worries mate, i will pass, and then when out of site i snuck to the bathroom, LOL silly move, i should have not done that, because it would have been very suspicious if i was seen, because i was supposed to be urinating into the test cup waiting for me outside, my only defence would have been to say, sorry but i really have to take a dump,
if i was to do that again i would have just acted like i couldnt urinate for the whole rest of my shift, and just say i dont know why but i cant, if you bide enough time, the van will leave and go test other people because they have jobs to do, they probably test over 20 people a day in my city, at least.
so next time i have a testing van show up to work, i will bide time and when out of site take the quick fix out of my pocket or bag in my locker, ect, and then open the heat pack and stick it to the bottle, and bide my time for like 4 hours with the bottle inside of my under wear next to my junk, so if i do have to do a test at the end of that 4 hours of biding my time, i know 100% the synthetic urine will be the correct body temperature, BUT if you bide your time, MOST of the time (if it is a mobile van tester) they will go else where and call you into the office at a later time, more like a doctors appointment, instead of waiting outside your work place in a van for 6 hours, so just bide time, because its easier to do it and have time to fully prepare and to get the urine to the correct tempreture, you can also do test runs before going to get confident, u can make sure your clothes are all set up correctly for a clean run, where u do not have to think too much about it and just concentrate on beleiving in yourself and acting normal, stopping your voice from shaking and being a good liar LMFAO.
But unfortunately what happened was i went to the bathroom and activated the heat pack and slipped the quick fix bottle into my undies and gave it 15 mins of sweating and working hard before i went to the van, and thought it would be heated up, ( i wish i snuck to the work microwave and put it in for 5 seconds) i did the test, the guy wasnt watching me he stood around the corner and i had the freedom to just place the test cup down on a bench and just take the bottle out with two hands and i poured the whole bottle into the test cup, (another mistake as i had enough for 2 tests, i used it all in one test so if it fails i cant wait longer and use the remaining liquid for a second test, it could be a make or break for u as u will probably not have any more for a re test if u are allowed to take one, again, if that happens just tell them you will take a retest, bide your time and go to their office at another time and it will give u some time to go get some clean urine or synthetic urine,
anyways i sat in the chair and passed the cup to the inspector and he evaluated the results, he asked me if it was even my urine and questioned if i faked the test, THE RESULT WAS MY URINE DETECTED NO DRUGS. BUT IT WAS COLD. AND there for i FAILED.
i insisted it was my urine and that i would provide another sample, he said he has never ever seen a cup do that, anyways he said he would be back in one hour after talking to my boss, all the managers and supervisors, workers and bosses were aware and all eyes were on me for the next test in a hour, it was a friday, and we only got ten mins for fridays, as we finish work early on fridays, but i played it off cool, talked to everyone and said i will be fine i dont know why it said it was too cold, but i am very confident that i will pass the next, test in a hour, of course i was lying through my teeth and had to just act chill and normal even though it was intense, i knew i didnt want to give up and I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE, EITHER WAY I HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE, DO I JUST GOHOME AND LOSE THE JOB LIKE A IDIOT, OR DO I FUCKTHE system BACK, I LEFT work and then went to a hydroponics store that had the urine in stock, i took 25 mins to get back to work and the boss was ringing me telling me to hurry up because the drug van was waiting for me, I got back to work, with a nice fresh synthetic urine, cost me 60 bucks, the hydro shop guy even put it inside the microwave for 10 seconds for me ( 7second would have been better), and the boss, the drug testing guy, work colleagues and managers watched on as the boss ripped me a new arse hole and told me its friday, where the heck was i, and that i should know we only have 10 mins on fridays and that i shouldnt have left work, i said sorry i was only just around the corner getting egg and avo toast from a cafe i was told to go check out, and that a hipster served me and took forever to cook my food, he said ok well now get in the van and do your test, AND I WANT YOU TO DO THE TEST FRONT ON TO THE INSTRUCTOR!!!!!,
i got in the van, and the man shut the van door behind him,and we sat down and started filling out paper work for a fresh test, and i said to him, I dont know what you think is about to happen, but i am not doing that test with you watching my dick, i told him i was a child sex victim and that i have PTSD, i have had a rough life, and i am not going to be treated like some kind of animal to do a drug test for work, and that if you dont let me do the test with some dignity then i will just quit and my whole family and I will suffer.
he tried to say, well mate, i have to at least watch you side on, i said nah not happening dude, i am doing the test with no one watching my cock or im not doing it at all, he stood behind me and watched intensely, trying to look over my shoulder and around me, even felt him trying to look into the reflection of the white glossy paint on the toilet area infront of me, i could hear him sighing with stress that i was using fake piss and that i wouldnt let him watch me ! LOL.
i only used half the liquid this time, and while still holding my cock and the fake urine bottle with my left hand, i used my right hand to pass the test cup to him over my shoulder, and said can you take this mate im just going to finish pissing into the toilet if thats alright and he took the cup and went back to the table, he took along time and wrote down that the urine was very hot, it was on the upper edge of being too hot, but it was a pass! success.
but he made some phone calls i think they would have taken a extra hard look when that sample got to the Lab, quickfix passed the lab test, i never heard from them again. he told me it is very strange that my urine went from ice cold to red hot in 1 hour and i even said to him with a dumb look on my face, but confident,"do you think i should go to a docter ? ".
i looked him in the face and said stuff like that almost saying hey, we both know i am faking it but what are you gonna do about it bitch.
and i passed, the bosses all got the results and talked about me but there was nothing they could do.
everyone ended up knowing in the end unfortunately that i faked it and they didnt really care, as long as i passed the test they didnt care because then i could keep working and they didnt have to hire someone else and train them.
alot of bosses dont care, as long as u show up every day, are a good worker that doesnt look like a drug user or act like one. and can pass any drug test they throw at you, they test for "insurance, liability legal crap, they dont actually have a personal belief in the tests most of the time for weed anyways and are just doing there job and following orders.
i use quick fix, pregnet womens urine and womens urine and have passed every test, try and use quick fix for lab tests, if the women if pregnet, if u can find a non pregnet girl or guy that will pass a lab test just like quick fix, but i believe that a lab test will be able to see its pregnet piss,
if u know u just are going to do a instant test cup that will not be sent to a lab, then just use synthetic or anyones urine, even a pregnant chick,
also!! i used half the quick fix and had a half a bottle left for another 2 months, and tried to use it for another medical for another job, and it showed up bacteria, it was a pretty in depth test, not the regular test cups, and yeah it showed nitrates or some bacteria and to them it looked like a urinary tract infection and they refereed me to a doctor to get it checked out, (i never went to that appointment lol)
JoeRogan420
Well-Known Member
i knew it was because the quick fix urine bottle had been opened and probably grown bacteria in it, for all good high quality test cups and lab tests use a fresh bottle of quick fix thats sealed, or a sample from a clean, non pregnant human.
thats pretty much it, i HAVE also used a whizzinator and monkey dong and dont like them and prefer just to use a easy to open bottle that i can operate with one hand with ease, that is low profile and can fit a heat pack on it andd it be easily concealable
microwave for ten secs before going home, put a heat pack on it with a rubber band or tape and keep it under your waist band ready to use when being observed doing the test.
another trick if u dont have a heat pack, if u have a good thermase, a insulated coffee or tea or hot water bottle, just put some body temp water in the thermase, and after u microwave the bottle of quick fix or human urine enough for it to be slightly over body temp, use a heat laser gun for 20 bucks off ebay or amazon to test the urine and water and get it up to slightly above body temp and seal the water thermase, and it should be fineand help it keep warm as u drive 15 mins to a couple hours to your medical, as thermases hold their heat really well, worked for me just the other day and thought it was a cool idea hahaha!! if u dont have a heat pack, also, if u wanna be pro and do this often, buy spare heat packs they cost fuck all and they will save your life if u dont have a thermase and wanna have all the tools u need at your disposal
i am sorry about the length, i hope it helps someone, i learnt this all from trial and error and have had close calls but have always WON
this took me 45 mins to write !!!hope someone learns something cheers guys im going to vape a bit of green
and if u dont have tight undies that u can smuggle a bottle securley in then get some pairs of undies ! and preferably wear ones to work that u can have a bottle resting in if need be at any moment!
guitarguy10
Well-Known Member
Depends on the drug test they give you. I have been a daily smoker most of my life. I decided to 'quit' for about 8 months to see if weed was contributing to any of my problems (it wasn't) and I tested positive for over 3 months.
But my doctor also employs a far more advanced GC-MS test that can apparently test for EVERY drug (that exists!). If they are just going to give you the more common and cheaper ELISA strip test you should be fine, but if you want to know for sure you can just buy some of those test strips off of amazon for like $10 for 5 and just test yourself and know for sure:
calvin.m16
Well-Known Member
Buy one of those "Wizzonators". Basically a fake pecker that comes with a warmer and some fake pee that passes as real. My brother used to use them all the time when he worked across the USA and had random drug screens. Keep it in the glove box and just whip it on and they use heater packs to warm up to temp.
Good luck.
Good luck.