recovery

HoLE said:

Keep up the good work phree23,,nice to hear a success story,,,and I can relate to 45-47 degrees being nice out,,I'm Canadian

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thanks man!!! its a never endin story but for now its a success and thats all that matters to me!!!

spleefed said:

The best part of this is that in another few months your energy levels will start to come back up and you'll wonder why you thought you needed them. It feels good to be able to walk out in the open and enjoy the sunshine and not have the constant thought of how many pills do I have and when am I going to need to score more.

I'm amazed at how much more productive I am at work and at home.

Keep on keepin' on. Sounds like your going to make it. Just remember, you can never take them again. I went to the dentist about 6 months into recovery and thought it would be ok to take the pain killers as prescribed. Wrong! It damned near pulled me back in. You'll learn to rely on regular ol Tylenol for real pain so don't take them unless you just absolutely have to.

I like that you're trying not to use weed every time you get the craving. Don't want to substitute one addiction for another. Doesn't matter what it is.

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yea man i can already notice a difference in my energy levels dude! oh and im so happy the urges started to subside when they did because i got my federal tax return yesterday, it wasnt a whole lot but 930 bucks coulda scored me more than enough to pull me back into that sick cycle of addiction. although im not gunna lie the first thought that ran thru my head when i saw my 9 new buddies named benny was to find some pills. but i chased those thoughts away by thinkin about how arbys sounded beastin lol and went home and payed my rent early so i didnt have a bunch of extra cash layin around.

CaNNaBiZ CaNucK said:

I just want to say to all of you that have fought and are still fighting addictions that you are the true definition of human perseverance. You are the pinnacle of the human species; you who can truly face their reality and make that change.

You are amazing people and incredible examples of what can be accomplished when faced with darkness and all odds against you.

Respect, my brothers and sisters.

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wow man that probably one of the best compliments i have ever received. thank you man. most people when finding out that im a recovering addict kinda get a lil nervous lol.

phree23 said:

thanks man!!! its a never endin story but for now its a success and thats all that matters to me!!!


yea man i can already notice a difference in my energy levels dude! oh and im so happy the urges started to subside when they did because i got my federal tax return yesterday, it wasnt a whole lot but 930 bucks coulda scored me more than enough to pull me back into that sick cycle of addiction. although im not gunna lie the first thought that ran thru my head when i saw my 9 new buddies named benny was to find some pills. but i chased those thoughts away by thinkin about how arbys sounded beastin lol and went home and payed my rent early so i didnt have a bunch of extra cash layin around.



wow man that probably one of the best compliments i have ever received. thank you man. most people when finding out that im a recovering addict kinda get a lil nervous lol.

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They get nervous because their thinking your sizing them up to steal something.
I think most people think all addicts are scumbag thieves. And maybe most are I don't know, but there are a few that keep jobs and pay their bills and no one is none the wiser.

I make a good a salary and I get bonuses and incentives. If my bonus check was say $800 I would deposit $400 of it and pocket the rest for drugs. The misses never knew. When she found out I was addicted to painkillers to the extent that I was doing them and the amount of money I spent (thousands of dollars) she went ballistic. But we've been together for so many years we were able to work it out.

And to the poster that said the kind things about those of us dealing with addiction. THANK YOU! Encouraging words mean a lot. You have no idea how much.

spleefed said:

They get nervous because their thinking your sizing them up to steal something.
I think most people think all addicts are scumbag thieves. And maybe most are I don't know, but there are a few that keep jobs and pay their bills and no one is none the wiser.

I make a good a salary and I get bonuses and incentives. If my bonus check was say $800 I would deposit $400 of it and pocket the rest for drugs. The misses never knew. When she found out I was addicted to painkillers to the extent that I was doing them and the amount of money I spent (thousands of dollars) she went ballistic. But we've been together for so many years we were able to work it out.

And to the poster that said the kind things about those of us dealing with addiction. THANK YOU! Encouraging words mean a lot. You have no idea how much.

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yea man i totally get why they get nervous and in a lot of cases they should be but like you said not every addict is a thief. and im glad you were able to work things out with the misses man. sadly i lost the love of my life to my addiction but even tho we arent together shes been a huge inspiration for me to stay sober because maybe, just maybe, if i can stay clean i might have a chance at gettin back together with her. lol its wishful thinkin at this point but she was "the one" and i just cant bring myself to givin that hope up, even tho the odds are stacked against me.

phree23 said:

yea man i totally get why they get nervous and in a lot of cases they should be but like you said not every addict is a thief. and im glad you were able to work things out with the misses man. sadly i lost the love of my life to my addiction but even tho we arent together shes been a huge inspiration for me to stay sober because maybe, just maybe, if i can stay clean i might have a chance at gettin back together with her. lol its wishful thinkin at this point but she was "the one" and i just cant bring myself to givin that hope up, even tho the odds are stacked against me.

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It was a trust issue wasn't it? Addicts are great liars.

If you can keep her in your life then, you can show her that your back to the person she fell in love with.

With any luck she'll agree to a date once in a while. If she does don't smother her, and don't beg for her to come back because you've changed and you're never going to do it again. She's likely heard that story a thousand times already. Send her a random card letting her know you're thinking of her and text messages with a simple ' wish you were here" or something simple like that.

For you to feel like she's the "One" then she must of felt the same way about you. Women are a strange breed, just when you think there is no way you'll ever work things out, they start coming around again.

spleefed said:

It was a trust issue wasn't it? Addicts are great liars.

If you can keep her in your life then, you can show her that your back to the person she fell in love with.

With any luck she'll agree to a date once in a while. If she does don't smother her, and don't beg for her to come back because you've changed and you're never going to do it again. She's likely heard that story a thousand times already. Send her a random card letting her know you're thinking of her and text messages with a simple ' wish you were here" or something simple like that.

For you to feel like she's the "One" then she must of felt the same way about you. Women are a strange breed, just when you think there is no way you'll ever work things out, they start coming around again.

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yea dude it was a total trust issue man. lol im doin my best not to smother lol its really hard not to but i already kno if i were to smother her she would run for the hills lol so ive respected her space and we still talk quite a bit about random shit. i can tell she still has feelings for me but she got back together with her asshole boyfriend from before me. never really understood that move seein as she keeps tellin me how he doesnt appreciate her and they fight quite a bit more than a couple should. but oh well theres not much i can do about it cept be here for her i guess and hope that someday she will give me another chance.


i just kinda noticed something. this thread kinda turned into a half ass NA meetin in a way. i like it. they should start a pothead friendly meeting thingy....hhhmmm......

phree23 said:

what do you do when you are havein some trouble wit the temptation of pickin the old habit back up?

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Obviously if you stopped doing it you do not want it anymore... it is a matter of finding your reason to be sober, your reasons to live. Keep what can be lost in mind and do everything in your power to enjoy the sobriety of life. Tell yourself no, eventually the urges will pass.

phree23 said:

i been struggling this past week with goin back to painkillers which is like my drug of choice. now a lot of ppl have been tellin me to hit meetings but i dont really like meetings all that much. ive only got 7 months of recovery under my belt and i just kinda been tryin to muscle thru it but that doesnt seem to cut it for me anymore.

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Cut out your activities with the people that you did them with. If you have friends that do them and they can not respect your quitting, cut them loose (it's hard, it sucks, it needs to be done). Get rid of your source for pills! Straight up, however you normally get them, cut that out of your life. You don't need it.

If you are serious about quitting, you better start busting your ass finding reasons to be sober and ways to enjoy life. Since I got with my lady I would never go back to hard drugs.. I simply have too much to lose now. Find something/someone (even if it is a new friend) that will be there for you, until you can handle walking on your own two feet again.

In the mean time, I would seriously take a month off from any substances (at least)... alcohol, tobacco, weed, etc. You need to break the addiction, not transfer the addiction to another substance. It's probably going to be hard, but you need to LIVE.. and after coming out of an addiction, you need to kind of re-learn what living sober is like.

Take walks, runs, w/e. Do things outside, and appreciate the beauty of everything around you my friend.

shepj said:

Obviously if you stopped doing it you do not want it anymore... it is a matter of finding your reason to be sober, your reasons to live. Keep what can be lost in mind and do everything in your power to enjoy the sobriety of life. Tell yourself no, eventually the urges will pass.



Cut out your activities with the people that you did them with. If you have friends that do them and they can not respect your quitting, cut them loose (it's hard, it sucks, it needs to be done). Get rid of your source for pills! Straight up, however you normally get them, cut that out of your life. You don't need it.

If you are serious about quitting, you better start busting your ass finding reasons to be sober and ways to enjoy life. Since I got with my lady I would never go back to hard drugs.. I simply have too much to lose now. Find something/someone (even if it is a new friend) that will be there for you, until you can handle walking on your own two feet again.

In the mean time, I would seriously take a month off from any substances (at least)... alcohol, tobacco, weed, etc. You need to break the addiction, not transfer the addiction to another substance. It's probably going to be hard, but you need to LIVE.. and after coming out of an addiction, you need to kind of re-learn what living sober is like.

Take walks, runs, w/e. Do things outside, and appreciate the beauty of everything around you my friend.

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hey man thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread homie!!! all the support i can get helps dude!!! the weather has finally gotten good enough for walks and i enjoyed a walk earlier today!!!

phree23 said:

hey man thank you for taking the time to respond to this thread homie!!! all the support i can get helps dude!!! the weather has finally gotten good enough for walks and i enjoyed a walk earlier today!!!

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I would also advise to get a hobby. Whatever you like doing, whether is it sports, lifting weights, reading, whatever.. just do something to keep your mind constantly moving.

I would also recommend picking up stretching, breathing exercises, maybe a martial art? Anything to condition how you handle emotions.. it will help you on those restless nights where you can't do anything but toss and turn thinking about an addiction.

I've been there a few times dude, you just gotta be strong and you'll pull through it. Congrats thus far!

shepj said:

I would also advise to get a hobby. Whatever you like doing, whether is it sports, lifting weights, reading, whatever.. just do something to keep your mind constantly moving.

I would also recommend picking up stretching, breathing exercises, maybe a martial art? Anything to condition how you handle emotions.. it will help you on those restless nights where you can't do anything but toss and turn thinking about an addiction.

I've been there a few times dude, you just gotta be strong and you'll pull through it. Congrats thus far!

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for sure dude! ima most def look into stretchin and breathin exercises! thats a great idea!!!

man, once again i couldn't agree more with shepj.. i have had major issues with addiction, but have been clean going on eight years in may... for me in the begginining, i just had to keep reminding myself where my drug use took me, and knowing that if i picked up again, i would surely be back in the same places again, quickly.. to me, this meant, jails, or hospitals, rehabs, homelessnes, or possibly death.. i was tired of going to jails and rehabs man.. that crap gets real old after awhile.. so for me, i know that the second i pick up a hardcore drug, this is where i am gonna end up.. and i also like to think about what i have to loose now that i am clean.. when i was using, my friends and family wanted nothing to do with me, and a lot of them just simply gave up on my as it was just too painful for them to sit back and watch me destroy myself slowly... but the ones who did stick by me, have completely given me back their love and trust, something that i had thought i had lost forever.. these are truely the gifts of recovery..
and like shepj said.. i had to find myself a hobby.. on one of my attempts at recovery, i ended up at a halfway house after 103 days in the hardest rehab i have ever been in... i enjoyed the halfway house just fine.. we kept busy going to meetings, and working and many other activities.. but deep inside i was missing something.. for me, using was a full time job.. i had to wake up every morning, and find ways and means to get what i needed to get me through till the next day.. this kept me busy most of the day and nite.. after i got clean, i had no real hobbies that i was into in the halfway house, and it was my downfall as i eventually went out and picked up again..
long story short, i got kicked out of the house.. i ended up using again for a few years till i got clean.. this time was different though.. i explored myself and what my interests were.. i now go fishing a lot when the weather allows for it.. its a really small dumb thing, but i enjoy it, and it gives me something to look forward to.. i am always dreaming about that next big fish, and it keeps me motivated to get through the day.. i also like formula one racing.. so i got a nice job and save up all year long so that i can go to one race a year.. this really gives me something to work towards and is kinda like a reward i give myself for another year clean.. so far i have been to alot of wonderful places that i would never have seen if i were still using.. i have been to montreal, spain, ireland, germany, belgium, italy and amsterdam.. i love my vacations and it really helps me to stay focused on what is important in life..
i also like to think about what i do have in my life to be grateful for when i get down on myself... sometimes its just the simple things.. the sky above my head, the warmth on my face on a summers day. having a roof over my head and loving friends and family who care about me.. some days its easy to get down and want to use, but its at these times that i just think about all of the good in my life today..
the nice thing about addiction is, that although we never are fully cured, it surely gets easier with the passage of time.. i no longer sit around and think about how good it would be to do my drug of choice.. i never thought that i would get ride of that compulsion.. but it can be done..
i will end it with this m8.. i have seen in my life that now i have stopped doing so many negative things.. lying, stealing, using and just being a general scumbag, most of the negative things have stopped happening to me.. don't get me wrong, life still happens from time to time, but it seems that the more positvie of a person i have become, the more positive things that come my way...

racerboy71 said:

the nice thing about addiction is, that although we never are fully cured, it surely gets easier with the passage of time.. i no longer sit around and think about how good it would be to do my drug of choice.. i never thought that i would get ride of that compulsion.. but it can be done..
i will end it with this m8.. i have seen in my life that now i have stopped doing so many negative things.. lying, stealing, using and just being a general scumbag, most of the negative things have stopped happening to me.. don't get me wrong, life still happens from time to time, but it seems that the more positvie of a person i have become, the more positive things that come my way...

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hey dude thank you for takin the time to write me a book!!! lol but na man thanks for your input seriously dude. i love to go fishin as well homie and am lookin forward to bein able to hit some lakes and fight some northerns or some large mouths!!!

I've been there man was on morphine for a few years. I've been clean just over a year,and I had to do it all on my own. I couldn't let my family know I even went to work dope sick. The best thing to do is keep your mind and body busy. The hardest thing for me has been the drug dreams makes me want to use right when I get up but there few and far between now.Keep Strong

SALTY CRACKA said:

I've been there man was on morphine for a few years. I've been clean just over a year,and I had to do it all on my own. I couldn't let my family know I even went to work dope sick. The best thing to do is keep your mind and body busy. The hardest thing for me has been the drug dreams makes me want to use right when I get up but there few and far between now.Keep Strong

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yea man ive had some crazy ass drug dreams the latest bein the other night lol it was actually kinda funny but very strange, well the first part was funny!!! i was smokein some hulusenagenic drug, no idea wat or even if it was a real drug but anywho, outside my moms house, no idea why i was there lol i havent lived there in 3 years. after i got done smokein w/e it was the was just some crazyness that happened for awhile but after awhile i walked across the street to the mail box and opened it up and low and behold there was a bottle of oxys sittin inside of it. you can imagine wat i did after that...well actully prolly not cuz some how i ended up at my old apartment NOW you can imagine wat happens next i bust out the razor blade and its back to the old ways shit when i woke up i felt high. not a fun feelin to wake up to so i went for a walk with some relaxing tunes to get my mind of things. im so glad the weather has been nice!!!

Here is my story.
I have not had a drink of Alcohol in 6 years. I am an addict also. I had an coke, speed, opiate and benzo addiction. I went to rehab, then moved into a halfway house for a year and a half. I had no substances until I was 4.5 years sober. I had surgery and had to take pain pills and got lightly hooked. I was able to throw them out when confronted about my addiction by my spouse. We both started smoking pot again about a year ago and it has been awesome. Cannabis has been very helpful to me in the past year. I have been inspired to start a serious diet and exercise program and went back to school and got A's in both of my classes.
I went to meetings daily for 3 years, and I never go now. For me smoking and eating pot have nothing but benefits in my life. The other drugs made me give up some control, pot reminds me that I am in control of my destiny, thoughts and actions.
I recommend a time away from everything to get to know and love your real self, neurosis and all. It is a very complex and personal issue as to what substances mean to me. I believe that I am truly an alkie. As a consequence of my opiate addiction I have a tremendous tolerance and look like an asshole everytime I get pills because I need so many and get obsessed. I believe that if I took a drink, I would buy an 8 ball xani's and oxy's within minutes.

Good Luck my friend. I would be happy to discuss this with anyone on here.

I forgot about the dreams. In them I had the drugs and everything was cool and then you wake up and feel like " aw fuck" that was a dream and I can't have them. I also had night sweats too. Anyone else?

When I went through the withdrawl phase and sick as a dog I did it at home. I took a couple of weeks off from work and rode that out. I couldn't even imagine going to work sick like that. Though I would go to work going through the first day of withdrawls when I was using and had no drugs to help me.

I didn't use anything the first year, alchahol, weed, just nothing. Didn't want to sub one addiction for another.

When I was seeing a therapist (about 16 months) she said that because I started smoking pot and trying other drugs as well ( coke, acid, meth, shrooms) at such a young age that my brain never developed the skills to cope with real life situations. My view on life was always skewered because of drugs and that I delt with life problems the way a teenage mind might handle them. So I did nothing for a year( wife wouldn't have stood for that anyway).

Now if I have a legitimat need for pain meds...too bad for me.. can't have them. If I go to the doctor my wife usually goes with me and is quick to remind the doctor that I have a problem or just to make sure I don't get him to prescribe something for me. I used to be real good at that. In addition to having someone supply me I had like 6 doctors on rotation for a nagging knee problem. Two years into my heavy drug use I broke my kneecap and had to have it screwed and wired back together. That was the best thing that could have happened to an addict. I had lots of painkillers with refills.

Now it's pot and Aleve for me. And after all these years later I don't miss them. I occasionaly think about them and probably will till I'm dead. But the thoughts don't lead to action.

Like I said earlier, boredom is the doom of an addict in the early stages. Get bored... find some drugs to not be bored. Now I can be bored to tears but I don't think about using, I'll go out to the garage and polish my bike or find some other chore on my wifes honeydo list. With time it gets so much easier.

green fan said:

Here is my story.
I have not had a drink of Alcohol in 6 years. I am an addict also. I had an coke, speed, opiate and benzo addiction. I went to rehab, then moved into a halfway house for a year and a half. I had no substances until I was 4.5 years sober. I had surgery and had to take pain pills and got lightly hooked. I was able to throw them out when confronted about my addiction by my spouse. We both started smoking pot again about a year ago and it has been awesome. Cannabis has been very helpful to me in the past year. I have been inspired to start a serious diet and exercise program and went back to school and got A's in both of my classes.
I went to meetings daily for 3 years, and I never go now. For me smoking and eating pot have nothing but benefits in my life. The other drugs made me give up some control, pot reminds me that I am in control of my destiny, thoughts and actions.
I recommend a time away from everything to get to know and love your real self, neurosis and all. It is a very complex and personal issue as to what substances mean to me. I believe that I am truly an alkie. As a consequence of my opiate addiction I have a tremendous tolerance and look like an asshole everytime I get pills because I need so many and get obsessed. I believe that if I took a drink, I would buy an 8 ball xani's and oxy's within minutes.

Good Luck my friend. I would be happy to discuss this with anyone on here.

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hey dude! thanks for takin a moment to share part of your story dude!!!

wat would you say are something that helped you stay sober this long? you obviously have had some urges and temptations over the years and im just curious as to how you went about beatin them. again thanks for joinin in on this thread! every story has given me more hope in beatin my addiction and stayin of the nasty shit and i hope that some day i can proudly announce that i have "X" amount of years under my belt, although i gotta tell you im prouder than a mother fucker to say that it has been 7 months and 12 days since ive used any hard drugs

phree23 said:

hey dude! thanks for takin a moment to share part of your story dude!!!

wat would you say are something that helped you stay sober this long? you obviously have had some urges and temptations over the years and im just curious as to how you went about beatin them. again thanks for joinin in on this thread! every story has given me more hope in beatin my addiction and stayin of the nasty shit and i hope that some day i can proudly announce that i have "X" amount of years under my belt, although i gotta tell you im prouder than a mother fucker to say that it has been 7 months and 12 days since ive used any hard drugs

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Phree, man I was ecstatic when I was able to say I was 1 month clean. Each and every day is a triumph. For me it's been 3 years 8 months and 16 days. Yes I still count them and why I don't know but I do.

Speaking of addiction. Right now I'm hooked on this web site. Will I still be around lurking around RUI 6 months from now? Probably not. Addicts find something that interests them and they tend to run it into the ground until they're bored with it and then move on to something else.

spleefed said:

Speaking of addiction. Right now I'm hooked on this web site. Will I still be around lurking around RUI 6 months from now? Probably not. Addicts find something that interests them and they tend to run it into the ground until they're bored with it and then move on to something else.

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dude i noticed that man!!!! i basically have this site up almost all day long and check it constantly. id like to say ill still be crousin this site six months from now but i doubt that im gunna be on it like i am now. i kno ill always pop on and check shit out but im sure ill get bored of it sooner or later. but shit i been takin a shit ton of notes and writin down ideas in my notebook about different shit and its gotten to the point were i really am only follow a couple peoples journals and this thread. of and of course i browse the beautiful pics when there aint shit else to do. thank god spring is on its way and ill actually be able to work and get out the fuckin apartment! i feel like ive been dead to the world all winter long

Yeah, it's about time to get my bike out again and start polishing and finding new way to customize it. My bike had a wild paint job, lots of chrome, 4 piece Mustang seat, led lighting all through it, hyper charger and a stage 3 power commander fuel mapping system. When it's warm I won't be sitting in front of my computer nearly as often.

Warm weather is our bread and butter here so I'll be busy with work and putting way more hours in.