I think its only human to think about killing yourself, I've recently been thinking about it more than I would like. Today I saw a video in pyschology about a girl who had half her brain removed at 14 and she has overcome it to function and seemed really positive and happy. That put me in check real fast, sometimes you just have to remind yourself how much worse it could be, because no matter what shitty things have happened to you, it could ALWAYS be worse. You have sight, that is reason enough to live. I imagine you are disease free? more reason. I know its not easy to control the way you feel, but you've gotta do your best to dig out the courage. Life is gonna kill us all anyway, so try and make the best of your time here. Live how YOU want to live and fuck all the bullshit. just my two cents, keep your head up.