Tell Me The Most Funniest Sex Incident You Ever Had And I'll Tell You Mine?

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Well-Known Member
Irollfatties said:
Summer of Seventh grade i was banging this chick and her mom pulls up outside. I bail out the back house jump a fence and started walking back home. I walked passed a Asian market and there was a Asian chick staring at me with a disgusted look on her face. I was like wtf are you staring at. So i kept walking and a little while later a car drove by and honked. I was WTF! I look down and my dick hangin in the breeze with the condom still on.

I also have shot a girl in her eye before and couldn't stop laughing. She was pissed and i literally fell off the bed laughing. This was from missionary so i was like DAMN that was a good shot!


And one last gross one. I was banging this hot ass cheerleader at my place and we had already fucked before school and at lunch. Well she wanted to go again and told me to pick her up after she got out of school so I did. Little did I know she had just left Cheerleading practice. So we start banging and this shit was the raunchiest smell ever. I fake an illness and had to stop. Well i really did get sick to my stomach. Never banged that girl again. Everyone wondered why I just stopped dating her, but only a few close friends knew the truth.


Im sure i have more..

Edit: I banged a girl with a banana and she thought i was fucking her.. LOL. I didn't want to fuck herz and she was obsessed with me, but everyone was cheering me on, so i grab the nearest thing next to me and was a banana. I even faked the orgasim and left it inside of her. LOL.
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lmfao I just spit out some iced tea.Thats some shit I could see happening to me.
 
Tenner

Tenner

Well-Known Member
april said:
Use a few toothpicks!? bunched together ! lol sorry i'd share i have a few at all times, bong house here
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I have 2 more lighters somewhere in this room thats the sad part.. I just checked all my jackets and jeans too!! I got this opium last night from someones ornamental poppy pods in their garden, happned to notice them while walking past :D Oh yeah, I bet its the old mans curse on me or something right now :D

Thing is I feel like a right idiot. I was chasing the dragon and got a cup of water to supposedly cool the lighter in. Aha genius! Ligher stops working, me tries to open it up and extend airflow, flies away the flint and lost on the carpet. 5 mins to the store or look for the flint... hmm wheres that fint...
 
Dizzle Frost

Dizzle Frost

Well-Known Member
Tenner said:
I have 2 more lighters somewhere in this room thats the sad part.. I just checked all my jackets and jeans too!! I got this opium last night from someones ornamental poppy pods in their garden, happned to notice them while walking past :D Oh yeah, I bet its the old mans curse on me or something right now :D
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was it from a pikey?
 
april

april

Pickle Queen
Tenner said:
I have 2 more lighters somewhere in this room thats the sad part.. I just checked all my jackets and jeans too!! I got this opium last night from someones ornamental poppy pods in their garden, happned to notice them while walking past :D Oh yeah, I bet its the old mans curse on me or something right now :D

Thing is I feel like a right idiot. I was chasing the dragon and got a cup of water to supposedly cool the lighter in. Aha genius! Ligher stops working, me tries to open it up and extend airflow, flies away the flint and lost on the carpet. 5 mins to the store or look for the flint... hmm wheres that fint...
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RFLMAO just go to the store, lol wait get ur lady women find all lost things, lol o always do, regarless who the man is lol
 
ganjames

ganjames

Well-Known Member
raw opium is the shit.

I shoot h sometimes when I know it hasn't been cut to nothing.
but that's only once and a while.
 
Tenner

Tenner

Well-Known Member
Urca said:
lol who the fuck smokes opium?
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I am for the first time in my life!!

I found the fucking flint it all works now no going to the store mwahahahah

Chase the dragon! :D

Best of all I made this opium a few hours ago :D
 
Urca

Urca

Well-Known Member
lol id never do anything harder than weed or like salvia or shrooms.... drug addiction runs in the family yo... aint trying to be like mother like daughter on this one
 
Tenner

Tenner

Well-Known Member
Urca said:
lol id never do anything harder than weed or like salvia or shrooms.... drug addiction runs in the family yo... aint trying to be like mother like daughter on this one
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My parents have sold and used tons of hard drugs. I`m not one for heroin or coke but I use pretty much anything from lsd to mdma :)

Whatever you use though none of its like permanent its all fucking around and experimentation, except weed :D
 
Urca

Urca

Well-Known Member
yeah just my mom was an addict when i was a baby, that shit destroyed her family, and the meth took her teeth. my uncle is on meth, missing four of his front teeth, a really mean fucked up guy... and honestly, i know if i try hard drugs that i will like them too much and problably do them as much as possible
 
Dizzle Frost

Dizzle Frost

Well-Known Member
Urca said:
yeah just my mom was an addict when i was a baby, that shit destroyed her family, and the meth took her teeth. my uncle is on meth, missing four of his front teeth, a really mean fucked up guy... and honestly, i know if i try hard drugs that i will like them too much and problably do them as much as possible
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fun should only be had in moderation...that sucks to hear
 
Urca

Urca

Well-Known Member
shit i was peer pressured by my bro into smoking weed, and now i fucking love it... so imagine me on hard drugs... id be such a fucking addict
 
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