The UK Growers Thread!

[dura72]

Daily Star - Many benefit claiments spend just 8 minutes a day looking for work.

Coincidently,that is the exact total time of the Jeremy Kyle breaks combined.

 

[mantiszn]

sounds like more effort than the filter lol....

i have a stream about 2 minutes away do you think bottling some water from there might be better ?

 

[RobbieP]

sounds like more effort than the filter lol....

yeah but cheaper lol ... rock n roll stopped a weeks wages last week cus i was late to sign .. nobs ...

 

[dura72]

yeah but cheaper lol ... rock n roll stopped a weeks wages last week cus i was late to sign .. nobs ...

been there before mate thats why im now on sick as an alcoholic. i visit the doc once a month and he gives me a line and thats it. they ask u to go to a medical (which u WILL fail!) and then u put in an appeal which will take at least 6 months due to the fuckin enormous back log during which time the continue paying you and u just sit on your ass watching the telly and smoking doobies.

 

[dura72]

I rang the doctor and said "my wife has been hit by a golf ball"

He said "Where?"

I said "Between the first and second hole"

He said "That doesn't leave much room to operate..."

 

[Beansly]

The difference between the three Celtic races is that the Scot keeps the sabbath and everything he can lay his hands on; the Welshman prays on his knees on sunday and everyone else the rest of the week: while the Irishman doesn't know what he wants, but he'll fight to the death for it.

 

[Beansly]

The lecturer was proud of his ancestry, and he didn't conceal it from his County Cork audience.
'I was born an Englishman; I live as an Englishman, and I hope to die an Englishman.'
'Yerra', came a loud voice from the back of the hall, 'Have you no ambition in ye at all?'

 

[dura72]

What's the difference between choice and choose?

Choice is a decision you make and Choose is what Mexicans wear on their feet

 

[dura72]

Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?

They only had 2 vans.

 

[dura72]

I bought a new computer last week from Mexico.

Fucking thing's been stuck in sleep mode for days.

 

[Airwave]

Sneaking across the U.S border with your 19 brothers and sisters isn't enough? You have to emigrate to the uk thread too?

Then again, my grass could do with a nice trim.

 

[Beansly]

Sneaking across the U.S border with your 19 brothers and sisters isn't enough? You have to emigrate to the uk thread too?

Then again, my grass could do with a nice trim.

ahah--no


Pay attention to dura, he's got the idea, Jock that he is lol

 

[dura72]

and proud of it mate.

 

[dura72]

Texan - a Mexican who ran out of petrol going to Oklahoma.

 

[dura72]

I love cats.
I see them as less-intelligent foreign small hairy lazy humans.
Or Mexicans for short.

 

[kevin murphy]

anyone from lancashire here

 

[dura72]

anyone from lancashire here

would they admit it?

 

[dura72]

A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful," says the mother. "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Scottish husband!"
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.

 

[del66666]

anyone from lancashire here

yeah you kev............

 

[dura72]

In a Scottish classroom, the teacher asks a student, "If you have 5 pounds, and I ask you to borrow 2, how many pounds do you have left?"
"5."