The UK Growers Thread!
- Thread starter lozac123
- Start date
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Saerimmner
Well-Known Member
Found an old post on me FB I thought you lot might enjoy reading lol....
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' '
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of poofs).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the English (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4.20 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' '
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of poofs).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the English (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4.20 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
What's all this grim talk of busts?.....
[video=youtube;rG478-dkuqA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rG478-dkuqA[/video]
Choppety chop chop.....
[video=youtube;rG478-dkuqA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rG478-dkuqA[/video]
Choppety chop chop.....
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
That little fucker must be the fastest finishing pheno anybody has seen for a long time, today is 45 days 12/12!
Don Gin and Ton
Well-Known Member
i'm away to pop a few of those myself. looks tidy that fella
PUKKA BUD
Well-Known Member
Is quick that mate how long veg did it have?....if that's got some strength I think your onto a winner!
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
Not long, about 3 weeks from seed.
I didn't take a cut from this as it was the smallest from the beginning, it smells the best though.
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
I've nowhere to put it to be honest, the garage and the loft are both too cold.
But on the other hand having a plant that finishes in 40-45 days means I can have 2 harvests in 3 months, then I'd need to up the plant numbers to get the yield and I'd need clones on the go constantly.
No fuck it, I've got the big purple beast to concentrate on.
But on the other hand having a plant that finishes in 40-45 days means I can have 2 harvests in 3 months, then I'd need to up the plant numbers to get the yield and I'd need clones on the go constantly.
No fuck it, I've got the big purple beast to concentrate on.
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
But if I use Triacontanol on em then I can potentially have big yielding plants that still finish in 6 weeks, maybe slightly quicker because of the triacontanol.
Hmmm.......head's fucked now!
Hmmm.......head's fucked now!
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
Paper suit.......check, scissors......check, a smoke......check, coffee.....check.
I'm going in......
I'm going in......
The Yorkshireman
Well-Known Member
Forgot the rubber gloves! 
Saerimmner
Well-Known Member
Wat strain is that one yorkie?
cheddar1985
Well-Known Member
HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY HO HO HO xXx
Ive seen all u bitches av missed me been a busy lad and keepin low the number peeps been tryin to get me on is a dud so hope nothin incriminatin ya bastards how is all? Pukka newuser mrt scotia donald yman sae drgrow dura ic3 and the fuckin rest ovs ya lmao will not go into detail but had the time of me life in all fairness even tho o hope and mean hope you all been flyon the flag for us uk possy come on u bunch of quer cunt speak up wot av i missed lmfao
Ps pukka ic3 need to talk not on site tho ill give ya details tomoz !!
Ive seen all u bitches av missed me been a busy lad and keepin low the number peeps been tryin to get me on is a dud so hope nothin incriminatin ya bastards how is all? Pukka newuser mrt scotia donald yman sae drgrow dura ic3 and the fuckin rest ovs ya lmao will not go into detail but had the time of me life in all fairness even tho o hope and mean hope you all been flyon the flag for us uk possy come on u bunch of quer cunt speak up wot av i missed lmfao
Ps pukka ic3 need to talk not on site tho ill give ya details tomoz !!
yeh RING ME u soft cunt! fucking flyer
ditched ur old number,so im assuming u got mine still,, hoping for good news like
fucking BORED! early night me thinks
cheddar1985
Well-Known Member
Well blow me not the 2 boys im needin to talk to are right here hahaha gonna av ta fill ya in wen i get chance lads hopefully tomoz everythin sweet tho yh ?? Fuck me i cant wait to start bangin pics on here again been a long long time but yo its worth the wait lmfao pukka bro the gk xs are banging lad ill show.ya a gk x exo tomoz ya still got me beans ya canna using freak!! ? Haha yo ic3 how ya exo run go come on im dying to know if ya managed so long without no can lmfao
YEH threads gnoe to shit, pretty dead, went well, rly fucked it up with vaing fan blowing it wen drying!duh!
cured it and got 2 oz per plant on all 5 exo and 1 PE sweet as fuck.. hopw did yours end up?,,