The UK Growers Thread!

dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shits teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!." Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FUCK!." By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FUCKING HIV POSITIVE."
And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mum isn't defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
Frenchy1000 said:
ok. so my first grow, i just went ahead and put 1 seed into a pot of soil gave it a water and now waiting. still no sign of it and i planted at on saturday! whats the longest you guys have waited for a plant to pop up?
Click to expand...
7 days, after that i just launch the damn things, hasnt happened too often though, thank fuck.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
"I'm pulling him over, I'm doing a breath test"..."Look, you were over the limit. You've got a criminal record. Thats a fine and a twelve month ban"..."Look, we're going to have to let you go, it's company policy"..."I don't care if there's only 20 thousand miles on the clock, that's my final offer"..."Oh that's just great! No car, no job!".....So, Sir. What will it be?...........make it a double, had a bit of a shit day.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
Why I fired my secretary:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
 
G

gblunt

Member
the prices 4 sum nice sticky shit is between £200-£250 an oz but u can get chinky weed for £140 an oz but its not flushed so it smells and tastes like ur smokin chemicals so best 2 grow ur own:leaf:
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
An old man was in hospital. Lying in bed, he leaned over to the pretty young nurse attending to him and whispered in her ear
"Give us a kiss, luv!"

"No!", replied the nurse

"Oh go on!", said the man

"No!", replied the nurse again

"Please!", begged the old man, "Just a quick peck on the cheek?"

"For the last time, no!", said the nurse, "I shouldn't even be wanking you off!"
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
lookin good...the plants, i mean not the house coat!! call it a shower robe, house coat make you sound like a pensioner!!lol
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
Interesting Human Body Facts


- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.

- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).

- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

- If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.

- Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

- Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.

- Women blink twice as much as men.

- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.

- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!

- Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.

- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

*** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you?
 
allywado

allywado

Well-Known Member
dura72 said:
Interesting Human Body Facts


- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.

- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).

- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

- If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.

- Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

- Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.

- Women blink twice as much as men.

- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.

- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!

- Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.

- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

*** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you?
Click to expand...
Hahahaha, I looked at my thumb n it made me lol hahaha
 
allywado

allywado

Well-Known Member
Billy that plant looks dyno mate. So thats the difference wi soil n hydro hahaha.

Mines are about 4 n a half weeks since i switched to 12/12 n the hairs on the main colas are nearly all orange, this normal? The guideline is 10 weeks flowering.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
Osama Bin Laden sent Former American president George Bush a coded message to let him know he was still alive:
-3 7 0 H S S V-
-0 7 7 3 H-
Bush is baffled, and even the FBI, CIA & NASA can not decipher it. They ask Britains MI-6 for help. MI-6 replies, tell the president he is holding it upside down.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
allywado said:
Billy that plant looks dyno mate. So thats the difference wi soil n hydro hahaha.

Mines are about 4 n a half weeks since i switched to 12/12 n the hairs on the main colas are nearly all orange, this normal? The guideline is 10 weeks flowering.[/QUOTEa lot of the time its strain dependant, im around 4.5 weeks in and the hairs are still white, but i know my orange bud for example will change quickly soon and in no time theyll all be orange.
Click to expand...
 
allywado

allywado

Well-Known Member
dura72 said:
a lot of the time its strain dependant, im around 4.5 weeks in and the hairs are still white, but i know my orange bud for example will change quickly soon and in no time theyll all be orange.
Click to expand...
Theres only a few orange hairs on the lower tops n the wee popcorn buds are still all white. What does it mean when they turn orange? Could it be happenin faster than normal cos a the cold in my loft? Its about 10 degrees when the lights off n 20 when its on.
 
dura72

dura72

Well-Known Member
they just change colour as the become more mature, its just part of the growth process, not sure what the exact reason is and i couldnt say if the cold has anything to do with it. im at the point where i dont really pay attention to days/weeks when i'm growing, i just leave them until i think their ready, check the trichcomes with a microscope and crop them when there half cloudy half orangy. the only thing i can say about the cold is that sumtimes itll make your stalks and bud go a little purple in colour.
 
allywado

allywado

Well-Known Member
dura72 said:
they just change colour as the become more mature, its just part of the growth process, not sure what the exact reason is and i couldnt say if the cold has anything to do with it. im at the point where i dont really pay attention to days/weeks when i'm growing, i just leave them until i think their ready, check the trichcomes with a microscope and crop them when there half cloudy half orangy. the only thing i can say about the cold is that sumtimes itll make your stalks and bud go a little purple in colour.
Click to expand...
That sounds awrite to me. Il need to get myself a scope for the trichomes, you know wheres best to get one?
 
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