Funny Sex Stories

lahadaextranjera

Well-Known Member
Damn man, my dick would have instantly went soft and would have called her nasty and left. Ladies, please learn how to properly clean your butt holes. No guy wants to smell your ass when he's going down on you or hitting it Doggie.

A dab of lotion on the toilet paper, after your last wipe, works wonders.
So that's why we have bidets everywhere.

We love having clean bums on the Continent. :)
 

iconoclast

Well-Known Member
So that's why we have bidets everywhere.

We love having clean bums on the Continent. :)
I totally agree with you. How come a country that created the iphone can't figure out a better way to clean their asses? That just goes to show that people don't care about what can't be seen by others. I'm sure that most countries think Americans are dirty for the way we wipe our asses.
 

Yessica...

Well-Known Member
I once gave a fireman a blowie in the morning after a bonkers night out, but I had to lift up his slutty school girl kilt first to do it. Fuckin hilarious!
 

lahadaextranjera

Well-Known Member
Well you know what it's like guys. You take a shower, you're getting ready to go out, then nature calls again. Threatening the ruination of your sparkly clean posterior. What can you do?

Just bidet! ;)
 
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lahadaextranjera

Well-Known Member
Or use our fingers. Gets everything out.

Lol in thailand villages they use a stick.
Thailand think we are all disgusting for using toilet paper!! A Thai toilet consists of a bucket of water and a small bowl, to splash away! There aren't proper sewage systems in place, especially on the islands so toilet paper can't be flushed at all! I used to live there, on Koh Tao the diving island.
 

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
Thailand think we are all disgusting for using toilet paper!! A Thai toilet consists of a bucket of water and a small bowl, to splash away! There aren't proper sewage systems in place, especially on the islands so toilet paper can't be flushed at all! I used to live there, on Koh Tao the diving island.
I have lots of buddies from thailand/laos. They told me lots of crazy shit.
 

ebgood

Well-Known Member
Dont really have any funny stories, but i hit one of my lil sisters friends once, she was a joke
 

iconoclast

Well-Known Member
Love the "I feel Gross" reply. That is SUCH a woman response…. LOL

PS I guess the chick with the shit-ass didn't feel so gross….[/QUOTE]

Yes, that is a real excuse. My girl will use it from time to time and then I just wait for her to go to sleep and I sneak it in. :evil: Who said having a small pecker doesn't have it's advantages? I'm like a mosquito that sneaks away and you don't even know you've been stung.
 

Yessica...

Well-Known Member
Love the "I feel Gross" reply. That is SUCH a woman response…. LOL

PS I guess the chick with the shit-ass didn't feel so gross….
Yes, that is a real excuse. My girl will use it from time to time and then I just wait for her to go to sleep and I sneak it in. :evil: Who said having a small pecker doesn't have it's advantages?[/QUOTE]
SURPRISE SEX!

hahahahaha
 

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
Damn man, my dick would have instantly went soft and would have called her nasty and left. Ladies, please learn how to properly clean your butt holes. No guy wants to smell your ass when he's going down on you or hitting it Doggie.

A dab of lotion on the toilet paper, after your last wipe, works wonders.
Lotion you say? a pre slippy bung hole eh?
 

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
Love the "I feel Gross" reply. That is SUCH a woman response…. LOL

PS I guess the chick with the shit-ass didn't feel so gross….
Yes, that is a real excuse. My girl will use it from time to time and then I just wait for her to go to sleep and I sneak it in. :evil: Who said having a small pecker doesn't have it's advantages? I'm like a mosquito that sneaks away and you don't even know you've been stung.[/QUOTE]
Until it's red and itchy, THEN you put two and two together and well…..
 
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