How many times a day do you shit?

jwop

jwop

Well-Known Member
i shit 3 times every morning just to get rid of my hangover (the only SURE cure for a hangover) ... im drinking almost two 12 packs a day

offtopic ... am i an alcoholic because i can drink beer all day everyday? or does it have to mess up my life first?
 
shmow52

shmow52

Well-Known Member
jwop said:
i shit 3 times every morning just to get rid of my hangover (the only SURE cure for a hangover) ... im drinking almost two 12 packs a day

offtopic ... am i an alcoholic because i can drink beer all day everyday? or does it have to mess up my life first?
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no im pretty sure even rich people can be crack heads... lol
 
rzza

rzza

Well-Known Member
jwop said:
good job ... now what does that have to do with shit or beer? ... try harder next time and it might be funny "lol"
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didnt you notice he was responding to someone? hence the quote. and it made SOME sense:)
 
C

Chad Sexington

Active Member
I usually poop in the morning after my coffee, then again around 9 - 10 at night. Not always, but seems to be a regular occurance. God bless bowel movements.
 
fatality

fatality

Well-Known Member
they need to make a shit pill. one that MAKES your body have to go after you ingest food, that would b cool. it is the bodies normal bodily function to send signals within the body that it is time to shit after every meal, some people cannot do this practice though, due to nerves among other variables. that is how the shit pill will come in to play. take your pill in the morning, and everytime after you eat, like magic, you will shit. kinda like birth control, but shit control......hmmmm interesting
 
juleswinnfield

juleswinnfield

Active Member
fatality said:
they need to make a shit pill. one that MAKES your body have to go after you ingest food, that would b cool. it is the bodies normal bodily function to send signals within the body that it is time to shit after every meal, some people cannot do this practice though, due to nerves among other variables. that is how the shit pill will come in to play. take your pill in the morning, and everytime after you eat, like magic, you will shit. kinda like birth control, but shit control......hmmmm interesting
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sooooo just like a laxative?
 
C

cmt1984

Well-Known Member
no. a laxative makes you shit right away, you would have to take a laxative after every meal. he just wants to take one pill that makes you shit only after you eat throughout the day.
 
KevinSmith

KevinSmith

Active Member
I love my system :)

I wake and poop a little. Then eat and a little more then and then when the coffee hits I empty and I am good for another 24 like clockwork.
 
woobystein

woobystein

Active Member
Yesterday I was fed up with coworkers not flushing the toilet and leaving their dumps to stew and ferment for myself and others to see. So last night it began. I hatched a plan of vengeance. That night after returning home, tired and disappointed after having to spend precious seconds of my life flushing another person's (odd looking) shit for the third consecutive day ( I suspected it was Hubert Scheely but who knew). So I felt justifiable payback was due, an eye for an eye so to speak... but with a little pepper sauce on it..So I began to get super high. I smoked a couple brimmers of my best appetite inducing strain (chocolope). Wen't straight for the poptarts. Proceeded to nobble my way through outrageous food stuffs, stuff I don't eat unless I want toilet time to reflect on life and for the relief afterward. I ate a leftover bean and cheese burrito, a chicken burger, a shit ton of Nerds and sweet tarts, some pigs in a blanket. In retrospect, I ate way to many pigs in a blanket. I also ate some orangevanilla sherbert and some baquette bread with havarti cheese. This was over the span of a few hours of course but the proportions were gross and I new it. But I snickered at the thought of the culprits grimmace when he retires to the pooper to see that I (discreetly) beat him to the pot. I would not flush of course, that was the keystone of my plot. Knowing that my fecal fetus was blooming, I went to bed. I woke up and sort of had to go but not really. I decided to save it for the moment. 9:45. 10 minutes after the last break ended. I stealthily leave my office and head toward the men's room. All the stalls were vacant. Bingo. This was it. My time was now. I squatted on a layer of clean t.p. to line the seat and proceeded to birth the Faberge glistening egg of poops. If I may describe: a sizeable length and girth laying perpendicular in the most presentable stance iceberging out of the surface a bit. Brown as brown gets. The deed was done. I snuck out and am confident no one saw. I still don't know who did it but I heard Kevin and that bastard Hubert mumbling and one of them was unsettled about a discourteous gift waiting for him in the third stall. Guess which one it was. That dirty Hubert! The moral of the story is follow your dreams and be determined, success doesn't come instantaneously, you have to work for it. -
 
Total Head

Total Head

Well-Known Member
woobystein said:
Yesterday I was fed up with coworkers not flushing the toilet and leaving their dumps to stew and ferment for myself and others to see. So last night it began. I hatched a plan of vengeance. That night after returning home, tired and disappointed after having to spend precious seconds of my life flushing another person's (odd looking) shit for the third consecutive day ( I suspected it was Hubert Scheely but who knew). So I felt justifiable payback was due, an eye for an eye so to speak... but with a little pepper sauce on it..So I began to get super high. I smoked a couple brimmers of my best appetite inducing strain (chocolope). Wen't straight for the poptarts. Proceeded to nobble my way through outrageous food stuffs, stuff I don't eat unless I want toilet time to reflect on life and for the relief afterward. I ate a leftover bean and cheese burrito, a chicken burger, a shit ton of Nerds and sweet tarts, some pigs in a blanket. In retrospect, I ate way to many pigs in a blanket. I also ate some orangevanilla sherbert and some baquette bread with havarti cheese. This was over the span of a few hours of course but the proportions were gross and I new it. But I snickered at the thought of the culprits grimmace when he retires to the pooper to see that I (discreetly) beat him to the pot. I would not flush of course, that was the keystone of my plot. Knowing that my fecal fetus was blooming, I went to bed. I woke up and sort of had to go but not really. I decided to save it for the moment. 9:45. 10 minutes after the last break ended. I stealthily leave my office and head toward the men's room. All the stalls were vacant. Bingo. This was it. My time was now. I squatted on a layer of clean t.p. to line the seat and proceeded to birth the Faberge glistening egg of poops. If I may describe: a sizeable length and girth laying perpendicular in the most presentable stance iceberging out of the surface a bit. Brown as brown gets. The deed was done. I snuck out and am confident no one saw. I still don't know who did it but I heard Kevin and that bastard Hubert mumbling and one of them was unsettled about a discourteous gift waiting for him in the third stall. Guess which one it was. That dirty Hubert! The moral of the story is follow your dreams and be determined, success doesn't come instantaneously, you have to work for it. - Health and Highness to all.
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my god. i feel like i was there. i could never have launched such a counter attack myself, but high five just the same.
 
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