All your shitty jokes

What day does the chicken hate the most ?



Fry day!

A man sat and watched the news with his cute, blonde girlfriend. The news anchor reported, "Two Brazilian skydivers fell to their deaths when their parachutes failed to open..." The blonde burst into an uncontrollable, desperate crying fit. The man, perplexed by this seemingly disproportionate display of emotion, dutifully patted her back and said, 'It's okay, babe. It'll be okay'. The blonde replied through her tears, 'but it's just so HORRIBLE! How many is in a Brazilian again?'

What did Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both came on little white crackers.

Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in Cork during his
tour of Ireland. The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical
manner, unaware as to who the golf pro is.

As Tiger leans over to get out of the car, two tees
fall out of his top pocket onto the ground.

"What are they son?"asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger Woods.
"And what would they be for then?" inquires the Irish man.
"They're for resting my balls on while I'm driving" says Tiger Woods.
"Jaysus," says the Irish man, "them boys at BMW think of everything!!!