comedy

oh yeah....well yo momma's so dumb, after she ran outta crack....she called her local congressman askin' if he could break her off a piece of that...STIMULUS PLAN.
 
And by the way people, a meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs and leave all them bones...Edward's fatass momma was just hungry!
 

Mauihund

Active Member
What do you call a bunch of rabbits, standing side by side, and they all take a step back?
*
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*
*
*
*
*
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A resiting hare line.

:clap:
 

krustofskie

Well-Known Member
A ventriloquist is touring his act
During his show one night with his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the crowd shouts
"I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes! What does the colour of a persons hair have to do with their worth as a human being.
Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected!"
The ventriloquist begins to apologise, but the blode shouts,
"You stay out of this mate! Im talking to the little wanker on your knee."
 

Blue Moonshine1

Active Member
A Man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A Woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need

A Woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

Married men live longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change but she does
 

krustofskie

Well-Known Member
Top 5 uses of the word 'Fuck' in history

5: What the fuck was that? - The Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945

4: You want WHAT! on the fucking ceiling? Michelangelo, 1566

3: Aw c'mon honey, who the fuck is going to find out? Bill Clinton, 1997

2: I need this parade like a fucking hole in the head! John F. Kennedy 1963

and the winner is

1: We'll definitely win the league this year.... Tottenham fans, 1991, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 2000, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 etc etc

(Got to be a football fan to get the last one)
 

IAm5toned

Well-Known Member
your mamas so fat, eveytime the bitch wears a pepsi shirt little kids try to shove a dollar in her bellybutton
:lol:
 

edwardtheclean

Well-Known Member
One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France.
Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!"
Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!"
Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy."
Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."
 
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