Friends of Bill W.?

Jman108227

Well-Known Member
I've been walking this path for 20 years now and this is the first time I haven't been able to fellowship through meetings. I think the hardest part of all of this has been the loss of routine. Made me pick up the phone more...
You are most definitely not alone in this situation. Hang in there :) I'm making new routines.
 

Jman108227

Well-Known Member
Yup, weird shit man. The very first one I went to was an actual NA meeting. I had no idea what the difference AA, NA. I found a meeting location in a little booklet they gave me a few miles from my house, was able to ride my bike lol. That shit was deep man. And then the prayers and shit. But i’ve always said, if it works for you great just wasn’t for me.

I’ve been court ordered to do shitloads of meetings when I was younger. This is back when the courts still did that. Now it’s usually your lawyer who recommends you go and get some signatures to make you look better in court. It never worked for me because I never wanted it to work. Out of the 100 I got ordered to go to when I was 18, I think i went to like 8? I went to three in a row and then just pretty much forged the rest of the signatures :-)
My first few go arounds to meetings were all court ordered. I didn't gaf about What those people were saying just wanted my court card signed like you haha. This time it wasn't court ordered, I had some personal shit going on and wanted to stop drinking. First few months of going everyday I would purposefully leave early because I didn't want to stick around for the prayers and shit at the end. Now I stick around for the whole thing cause I like to talk to certain people that I can relate with. There's a lot of different people in those rooms. Some that are holding onto a belief that god is helping in some way. Some that are in there because they are straight savages trying not kill themselves or others. Idk. I connect with the crazy people and the old timers.
 

Jimdamick

Well-Known Member
Yup, weird shit man. The very first one I went to was an actual NA meeting. I had no idea what the difference AA, NA. I found a meeting location in a little booklet they gave me a few miles from my house, was able to ride my bike lol. That shit was deep man. And then the prayers and shit. But i’ve always said, if it works for you great just wasn’t for me.

I’ve been court ordered to do shitloads of meetings when I was younger. This is back when the courts still did that. Now it’s usually your lawyer who recommends you go and get some signatures to make you look better in court. It never worked for me because I never wanted it to work. Out of the 100 I got ordered to go to when I was 18, I think i went to like 8? I went to three in a row and then just pretty much forged the rest of the signatures :-)
Like the 1st meeting I went to was a shared group meeting, meaning that the next town sent over they're drunks to meet our drunks (I like the term drunks, because that's what we are :) )
So, they had the table & low & behold sitting in the middle was a 20 something kid that I used to sell blow too.
He never drank, he was simply a blow head & here he was sharing his methods to gain sobriety
I asked to share & asked him how hard it was for him to quit drinking.(knowing the cunt never drank)
Of course it was hard he said. "you can do it too, just pull up your bootstraps"
I've been drinking since I was 12 (my Dr. thinks I'm a medical marvel :) ) on & off, 1st hitting my parents liquor cabinet (I wanted to know why my parents sucked on bottles) & then moving onto wine alter when I was an alter boy.
Anyway, I said fuck this shit when some 20 year old coke head is going to give me advice on how to stop drinking.
Then, at the same meeting I have to listen to a woman tell her story about how she knew she was an alcoholic when she had her 4th glass of wine at a party.
That was my last meeting for around 6 years, then I went back because I hit what I thought was bottom (little did I know)
Ended up in a rehab run by AA called High Watch Farm that really made me want to drink
You had to go literally to the Church/Shrine they set up for Bill W, and pray to the Higher Power.
As you could imagine, I lasted 3 day's and because of my "attitude" was thrown out (very compassionate)
So, to end my soliloquy, AA works for some people but never did for me.
 

Aeroknow

Well-Known Member
I've been drinking since I was 12 (my Dr. thinks I'm a medical marvel
Please don’t take this as me bragging because it’s actually the opposite.

I was already drinking by the time i was in 8th grade. And smoking weed. I waited until my freshman year to do my first line of coke. First hit of lsd. Waited another year to do my first rip of crank. There was allot of other kids just like me at my schools growing up in san jose. It’s scary looking back. Anyways, 8th grade my dumb ass drank almost a whole 1/2 gallon of tequilla from my moms liquor cabinet. Came to the next morning being driven back home from the hospital with charcoal all over my face. Supposedly lucky to be alive. You would think i would have learned my lesson the n but no.
My next really bad one, lots of bad shit in between, was right after i turned 18. Passed out behind the wheel in my camaro smashed into a parked car. .35 dui. Judge said “son, YOU are an alcoholic!” I still didn’t learn my leason of course. 3 yrs later .27, 3.5yrs after that a .24 and judge gave me 9months. You would think i learned my lesson but no :-( the good news is i was always top of my class. And went against everything they teach you in the classes. Usually most people continue getting dui’s and their BAC’a get higher and higher. I’m not like everyone else and i’m stoked believe me.
I still drink, only beer for the most part.

I was the most fucked up one out of all my friends when younger, now they are the most fucked up. :-(
 
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Jimdamick

Well-Known Member
Please don’t take this as me bragging because it’s actually the opposite.

I was already drinking by the time i was in 8th grade. And smoking weed. I waited until my freshman year to do my first line of coke. First hit of lsd. Waited another year to do my first rip of crank. There was allot of other kids just like me at my schools growing up in san jose. It’s scary looking back. Anyways, 8th grade my dumb ass drank almost a whole 1/2 gallon of tequilla from my moms liquor cabinet. Came to the next morning being driven back home from the hospital with charcoal all over my face. Supposedly lucky to be alive. You would think i would have learned my lesson the n but no.
My next really bad one, lots of bad shit in between, was right after i turned 18. Passed out behind the wheel in my camaro smashed into a parked car. .35 dui. Judge said “son, YOU are an alcoholic!” I still didn’t learn my leason of course. 3 yrs later .27, 3.5yrs after that a .24 and judge gave me 9months. You would think i learned my lesson but no :-( the good news is i was always top of my class. And went against everything they teach you in the classes. Usually most people continue getting dui’s and their BAC’a get higher and higher. I’m not like everyone else and i’m stoked believe me.
I still drink, only beer for the most part.

I was the most fucked up one out of all my friends when younger, now they are the most fucked up. :-(
You & I are kindred spirts, in a sad way :)
The 1st time I really got smashed was drinking a bottle of Blue Berry Brandy in 15 min when I was 15.
My friends left me by my front door & rang the bell & ran.
My parents thought I had OD on drugs & called the cops & they showed up & told that Nah, he's just drunk.
I ended up in the hospital that night with an IV to stabilize me & almost died :)
But, I still love the booze & there's no doubt about that, except for Blue Berry Brandy, I can't drink that shit anymore :)
 

Aeroknow

Well-Known Member
You & I are kindred spirts, in a sad way :)
The 1st time I really got smashed was drinking a bottle of Blue Berry Brandy in 15 min when I was 15.
My friends left me by my front door & rang the bell & ran.
My parents thought I had OD on drugs & called the cops & they showed up & told that Nah, he's just drunk.
I ended up in the hospital that night with an IV to stabilize me & almost died :)
But, I still love the booze & there's no doubt about that, except for Blue Berry Brandy, I can't drink that shit anymore :)
My blue berry brandy is Tequila. :spew:
 

Jman108227

Well-Known Member
Like the 1st meeting I went to was a shared group meeting, meaning that the next town sent over they're drunks to meet our drunks (I like the term drunks, because that's what we are :) )
So, they had the table & low & behold sitting in the middle was a 20 something kid that I used to sell blow too.
He never drank, he was simply a blow head & here he was sharing his methods to gain sobriety
I asked to share & asked him how hard it was for him to quit drinking.(knowing the cunt never drank)
Of course it was hard he said. "you can do it too, just pull up your bootstraps"
I've been drinking since I was 12 (my Dr. thinks I'm a medical marvel :) ) on & off, 1st hitting my parents liquor cabinet (I wanted to know why my parents sucked on bottles) & then moving onto wine alter when I was an alter boy.
Anyway, I said fuck this shit when some 20 year old coke head is going to give me advice on how to stop drinking.
Then, at the same meeting I have to listen to a woman tell her story about how she knew she was an alcoholic when she had her 4th glass of wine at a party.
That was my last meeting for around 6 years, then I went back because I hit what I thought was bottom (little did I know)
Ended up in a rehab run by AA called High Watch Farm that really made me want to drink
You had to go literally to the Church/Shrine they set up for Bill W, and pray to the Higher Power.
As you could imagine, I lasted 3 day's and because of my "attitude" was thrown out (very compassionate)
So, to end my soliloquy, AA works for some people but never did for me.
I just read that aloud to my wife cause she wanted to know what I was reading. Seriously great. Thank you for that. I'm sorry you have had to put up with unorthodox meetings in your life and programs with ridiculous methods. If you're ever in huntington beach. Best early bird meeting you will come across that is far from all you've just mentioned. If you are working a good program yourself then stick with it. Some people can truly benefit off their own, without outside influence and I've seen it. Whatever works. Great stuff though.
 

Jman108227

Well-Known Member
Please don’t take this as me bragging because it’s actually the opposite.

I was already drinking by the time i was in 8th grade. And smoking weed. I waited until my freshman year to do my first line of coke. First hit of lsd. Waited another year to do my first rip of crank. There was allot of other kids just like me at my schools growing up in san jose. It’s scary looking back. Anyways, 8th grade my dumb ass drank almost a whole 1/2 gallon of tequilla from my moms liquor cabinet. Came to the next morning being driven back home from the hospital with charcoal all over my face. Supposedly lucky to be alive. You would think i would have learned my lesson the n but no.
My next really bad one, lots of bad shit in between, was right after i turned 18. Passed out behind the wheel in my camaro smashed into a parked car. .35 dui. Judge said “son, YOU are an alcoholic!” I still didn’t learn my leason of course. 3 yrs later .27, 3.5yrs after that a .24 and judge gave me 9months. You would think i learned my lesson but no :-( the good news is i was always top of my class. And went against everything they teach you in the classes. Usually most people continue getting dui’s and their BAC’a get higher and higher. I’m not like everyone else and i’m stoked believe me.
I still drink, only beer for the most part.

I was the most fucked up one out of all my friends when younger, now they are the most fucked up. :-(
I feel you man. I'm just grateful I never got any dui's driven on everything from ecstasy to loaded on 30mg oxys. Only difference between you and I is getting caught. It's hard seeing friends go down the shitter. if you can't completely stop then at least you have slowed your roll. I've seen beer change some people for the better too haha. Everyone is different. We're all navigating this finite existence in our way.
 

Aeroknow

Well-Known Member
I feel you man. I'm just grateful I never got any dui's driven on everything from ecstasy to loaded on 30mg oxys. Only difference between you and I is getting caught. It's hard seeing friends go down the shitter. if you can't completely stop then at least you have slowed your roll. I've seen beer change some people for the better too haha. Everyone is different. We're all navigating this finite existence in our way.
Shit man. I got a buddy who when on a roll drinks 2 beers and you would think he drank a 1/5 of booze. I feel fortunate to still be able to drink beer and not be all fucked up
 

Jman108227

Well-Known Member
Shit man. I got a buddy who when on a roll drinks 2 beers and you would think he drank a 1/5 of booze. I feel fortunate to still be able to drink beer and not be all fucked up
Sure you're not talking about my mom? Haha. She can get through half a beer and she seems hammered. I feel fortunate enough that I can just watch my wife drink and not feel tempted. Some people can't even watch a beer commercial. Oh well. Stick with what you can and what works. Hope your having a good Monday.
 
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