Holly shit! I need all help people! I am gona get tested!

zer0ed said:

you can do that, and you will be temporarily scott free, but the test will come back as "failed" because they can tell its diluted, when all the numbers are off.
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for the record i got tested once and they can do it in front of you.. depending on the company they may just have a testing kit they can buy, they dip sticks in that are for different drugs and like a pool ph tester stick they see what colors the indicators turn... in those tests it wont matter however if they have a lab do it.. your probably screwed in my opinion.

the THC that you get in your system from pot stores in your fatty tissue and is slowly disolved over time by your body, this is why pot sucks sometimes because while you can do a line of coke and test like a week later and be fine.. pot stays in there depending on frequency of use for up to months. iv even heard of people putting on weight while smoking (must be all the munchies ) and then up to a year later losing weight and doing a drug test and coming up posative, as your body uses up the fat strores it re-releases into your blood stream. and then into your urine.

EDIT: noticing some neat ideas, never tried em all, give em a try , never know. dont have to worry about it much in canada since its not legal for them to do random testing unless its in your hiring package that they do.

bong hoger said:

I am gona stay awake threw night! and drink water! will that help say I drink 3-4 gal water.

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Are you crazy to drink that much water ?? Are you trying to kill yourself ? You can easily die from over drinking water. Don't be a fool & do that. If you knew you were going to be tested tomorrow then why would you smoke 2 days ago & why would you wait until today to find out what to do. Go buy urineluck at your local headshop & follow instructions. It's not a pill or anything you ingest. It's a yellow liquid that you strap to inner thigh & comes with a self heating pad to keep it at the temps of your body. Don't be a schmuck & drink that much water & they will know you were up all night drinking water to try & cover it up. Don't do the drinking of water unless you don't mind the chances of death !!

P.S. I never used urineluck but it does work & next time consider not doing any drugs if you knew you were to be tested. It's ok to not get high for 30-45before taking a drug test. If you can't do that then you are an addict.

mookie brown said:

Are you crazy to drink that much water ?? Are you trying to kill yourself ? You can easily die from over drinking water.

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yeah forgot to cover that... its called Electrolyte imbalance and its deadly. you litteraly drown yourself in water. very common with Ecstacy users because they cant tell when there thirsty, so alot of them combat that by ensuring they are always drinking water to be sure. however its not uncommon to hear about people dieing in hospital from elecrolyte imbalance after taking ecstacy and drinking too much water.

bad idea!

crazycanuk said:

yeah forgot to cover that... its called Electrolyte imbalance and its deadly. you litteraly drown yourself in water. very common with Ecstacy users

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So true, I was big into E in the late 90s early 2000's dancing/sweating my ass off from 9ish till when clubs closed at 4am & from there if I hooked up we would go hit after hour clubs that were open till noon. I made sure I only nursed 1 16oz bottle of water per hour & more than likely would share/offer my bottles with those who looked like they were running a fever. I was good at taking care of the weak. All I wanted in return was massages Most E users I knew were dehydrated but there were the ones who drank themselves to death.

Actually there is a way u can pass the test the day of without a mask. You can use something that literally inhibits ur metabolism for a short time which makes it impossible to break down fat from your body for a short period. This causes no thc to even be able to be in ur piss.

I cannot believe how retarded some of these suggestions are....THC is stored in fat. Your urine is not 100 percent fat. lol and ussually since resin does not mix with water it is either at the bottom or top of the stream some people get by just by taking the test mid stream. Excercise takes 10 days bc u have to break down all the fat cells that have thc in them and pee them out. Water helps but cant flush ur system in less than 7 days. Dont use fake urine it comes up negative on almost every test. If you use someone elses urine and it isnt body temp u fail. If ur skinny and u smoke once in a while stop worrying and do the test mid stream ull prolly pass if its REALLY important buy a mask or a inhibitor.

Qcarbo32 from GNC...DONE!!

Blazed Hippie said:

Dont use fake urine it comes up negative on almost every test.

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Actually urineluck which is a synthetic urine will get people to pass drug tests. My older brother keeps a case of it in his semi. Used it many times. This is the only reason why without me even using it can say it does work. He pees in a cup once a month (wink wink). Why once a month you ask ? Because this is how companies are able to keep insurance down for their drivers & trucks. Until my brother fails a test with this stuff I will stay a strong believer.

dont be a dumbass go get quickfix fake piss

mookie brown said:

Actually urineluck which is a synthetic urine will get people to pass drug tests. My older brother keeps a case of it in his semi.

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True but old versions of the fake piss go out of date because they begin testing for them. Or so I have heard from testing facilities who knows they are so buzzkill about such things.
For the record I have used inhibitors with the same results.

bong hoger said:

will exirsize help? swet? running and stuff?

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I have read some information about this very topic recently as it was important to me that I get another job. Heres what I found out..

THC is stored in your fat cells and is released from them at a certain rate depending on the amount of fat that is being used by your body. So in response to your question about will exercise help, the answer is yes. The catch is you need to be burning fat ie running or endurance activities for the period of time before your UA. During this period of time it is important to not be eating fatty or greasy foods. A few 2-3 days before your test it is important that you don't exercise at all. By not exercising during the 2-3 day period you are allowing your body to return from a (im starving) stage where it is burning fat rapidly to a (store for future) state. During these 2-3 days it is important that you are eating the fatty and greasy foods so that your body will ideally store fat that doesn't have previously stored thc in it. If it is important that you pass your test (im betting it is) I would recommend buying a mj drug test as to check yourself before your test. The day of your test it is important that you get up in the morning, drink a half gallon of water and pee your first pee of the day. After that make sure to pee once more before your test, drink some more water then go to your test immediately. The way the thc is removed from your system it works on a variable rate. For instance imagine a faucet dripping to fill a cup at the rate of 50 drops of poison an hour, this is a parallel of what is happening in your body. Therefore if you are to pour out your cup (take a piss) then this time fill it twice as fast with water and only allowing the period of time to allow 25 drops of poison (THC) to fill it before using it (drug testing) then there will be less poison (thc) in your urine. (It will still have some THC and other things that UA companys test for but you will have effectively diluted it). This is one of the reasons that people say drinking a ton of water will help make the THC not show up on your UA. The trick with doing this is to make sure that your creatine levels and the other normal things they look for in human piss are close or not too far off from the mark they are looking for. This is one of the reasons to eat meat and greasy foods before your test, it is also recommended that you take vitamin supplements as they will help to boost the levels of things they test for in your diluted piss Don't let anyone tell you that the fake piss things work for all situations as they do not. One of the things that labs look for is the small amount of blood that is normally in your urine (not in the prank piss). I dont have a list of anything else that they are looking for but I know creatine and blood for sure. Best of luck to you, lemme know how it turns out. On a side not the fact that companies do drug testing should be illegal as its discriminatory in that it voilates a persons right to persue happiness. But that is for another thread...

bong hoger said:

Hi I wana know what I can do I am gina get tested tomorow! I smoke`d two days ago! gona do a urne test at the doctor. PLEASE HELP ME!

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PLUS REPS. This is the funniest shit I have read all day!!!

It's not what you said, it's how you said it.

Drink lots of water and go hit the gym. then go for a jog. try not to stop moving for an hour. after that one glass of water to one glass of cranberry juice up to the test.

I rather cranberry raspberry personally.

If you are clever and stealthfully stash some clean pee close to your body to keep it up to acceptable temp. You need to at least double bag it, maybe an ace bandage and keep it close to "your junk". I had to do it in Vegas to tend bar of all things. It works but would be at least embarassing to "dump your load" at the receptionist desk. Now that is some funny shit........

I know of no medical proof that anything except time will remove drug markers from you system. If your dirty the only way to pass a urinalysis is substitution. Synthetic will work just fine unless your applying for a position with the government. Some of their facilities actually look for the waste compounds found in real urine which aren't present in synthetic urine.
There are companies that sell real frozen human urine or a dehydrated version. The only one I know of is Urine the Clear. Google them or look them up in a High Times magazine.

Thanks a milion people! I drank 11l of water in the night and 3.5l about 3 hours before the test! I was Clean!!

my son in law used fake pee and they have a test for it, he got fired, i smoke everyday for years, had to get clean from mj, it took 6 wks, im not fat either, it builds up in fat cells, thats why it takes so long, but if you dont smoke everyday you might be able to do the water thing, but be careful you dont get water poisoning, it can happen its easier to get someone clean pee, and figure out how to fill the cup, make sure its the right temp

vallilynn said:

my son in law used fake pee and they have a test for it, he got fired, i smoke everyday for years, had to get clean from mj, it took 6 wks, im not fat either, it builds up in fat cells, thats why it takes so long, but if you dont smoke everyday you might be able to do the water thing, but be careful you dont get water poisoning, it can happen its easier to get someone clean pee, and figure out how to fill the cup, make sure its the right temp

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This is concerning. How did they test for the fake pee?

If any one else is in this situation ever,common sense.Get a straightpeg mate to piss in a bottle for you,then take it in with you the doctor wont say piss in front of me!Once your in the bog just pour it in to the urine sample bottle.Helps if its warm too.I know this is not desirable but if it means your jobs on the line then fuck it.If your mouth swabbed then your fucked as there is no way to beat this test,heard brushing your teeth but its bollocks.Also it costs money to test for diffrent things if your just getting a routine test,not for drugs,dont worry they just test for what they are looking for it costs extra for a lab to test for diffrent drugs.I wouldnt trust those headshop things that are ment to clean out your system,as long as you get a true straight peg to piss in a bottle it will work try putting it in microwave b4 u go so its not stone cold when you hand it to the doc.LOL! had to do this a few times.

Shit didn't see that post above lol!Doesn't really matter most companies are bringing in the mouth swabs and they CAN'T be fooled.I think,not sure that swabs can tell what you have had in the last month maybe longer.If you were really desperado keep your own clean urine just in case,its a fucking joke that ppl are losing their job because of weed,especially as your bosses are in the toilet snorting shitty Coke all day long.

Hey,any test I had they told me to take it to the toilet,if a doctor said here pee into this right now I would just tell him straight,I cant piss when your watching.Must be difficult to fool the docs in the US if they make you take a leak in front of them

HAGGIS N HASH said:

Hey,any test I had they told me to take it to the toilet,if a doctor said here pee into this right now I would just tell him straight,I cant piss when your watching.Must be difficult to fool the docs in the US if they make you take a leak in front of them

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It varies from test to test. Usually during an observed test there is an individual in the same room with you. They usually are only there looking for any suspicious activity. Most of the time they don't sit there and stare at your wanker (unless he likes you).