How ghetto are you?!!..

You want me to discuss the disappearance of four rental midgets during an ongoing investigation, in which I am a suspect? Tough crowd.
 
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kinetic said:
We need to create a TV show. Redneck inventions Vs Ghetto Inventions. Create a cob job rivalry, cross market it and also use polarizing subjects and bring them together. Think wife swap but with a confederate flag truck drivin stereo type and a project living inner city person.

Best cob job wins some sort of prize and in the vein of bringing people together everyone has dinner together at the end.
Click to expand...

redneck - duck tape it.
ghetto - steal it.
 
Think this counts as redneck rather than ghetto.

I was working for the forestry commission collecting acorns from the woodland floor, paid by the kilo. I consider this effectively bounty hunting. :/

Primark tracksuit under waterproofs, may as well be dry and comfy, right?

I came to the realisation that I was hanging for a shit. I mean hanging. Too far from the land rover to retrieve shit rag and army surplus folding shovel, I blundered away from the path through the brambles looking for a suitable spot to evacuate.
When the strain of not soiling myself became unbearable, I vacated my bowel onto the humus of the beautiful woodland.
No bum rag. What would ray mears do? Probably forage for some leaves with a natural healing property. Not I. I took the rambo approach. 4'' lock knife to the trouser leg, just below the knee. Ample wipage.
I cut the same from the spare leg (my left as I recall) and put it on my head as a kind of hairband/bandanna atrangement. Fucking dreads had been snagging in brambles and brances all day anyway.
I returned to my bounty hunting empty, restyled and pleased with the way things had turned out.
I still wear the trousers, but the bandanna got wiped later that week.
Oh, I put a log on my deposit, I ain't a fuckin' animal.
 
Growan said:
Think this counts as redneck rather than ghetto.

I was working for the forestry commission collecting acorns from the woodland floor, paid by the kilo. I consider this effectively bounty hunting. :/

Primark tracksuit under waterproofs, may as well be dry and comfy, right?

I came to the realisation that I was hanging for a shit. I mean hanging. Too far from the land rover to retrieve shit rag and army surplus folding shovel, I blundered away from the path through the brambles looking for a suitable spot to evacuate.
When the strain of not soiling myself became unbearable, I vacated my bowel onto the humus of the beautiful woodland.
No bum rag. What would ray mears do? Probably forage for some leaves with a natural healing property. Not I. I took the rambo approach. 4'' lock knife to the trouser leg, just below the knee. Ample wipage.
I cut the same from the spare leg (my left as I recall) and put it on my head as a kind of hairband/bandanna atrangement. Fucking dreads had been snagging in brambles and brances all day anyway.
I returned to my bounty hunting empty, restyled and pleased with the way things had turned out.
I still wear the trousers, but the bandanna got wiped later that week.
Oh, I put a log on my deposit, I ain't a fuckin' animal.
Click to expand...

cool story bro. needs more turtles...
 
In my homeless teen years, I had a car and needed to change the oil, but couldn;t afford an oil pan, so I drained it into the storm drain on the road.
 
When I need to neuter a dog, I just wrap a rubber band around its nuts until they dry up and fall off.

I've sewn a run in my stockings, and tonight we're eating skrimps.
 
I eat chicken wings one handed. Push the meat down to the bottom of the bone and eat it up. White people lose their minds when they see that they are eating that tasty caucasian meat all sloppy like some sort of albino cave animal...
 
I like to eat Redi whip right out of the can. Just tip the can, push the knob and enjoy the sweet creamy goodness.
 
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