Mr.KushMan
Well-Known Member
I have had these experiences all my life, being told I am more intelligent than average. Having super intense deja vu or even premonitions. I suffer from several psychological conditions none of which I take meds for. At a young age my parents and particularly my grand parents took an overwhelming interest in the working of my mind always asking me what I was thinking about and if I had a head ache, I would always rest my head on my hand. I have always had a sense I knew what was what, and where things went together. Being a natural problem solver, people told me I would do great things with my life. When I went to church my minister always told me that I should become a preacher because I had a gift but as I got older and began to rebel the church he confided in me that it is not what I would want with life.
Despite the majority of people saying I was special, I denied it and convinced myself I just wasn't stupid. Through school I never had problems, though I never exceeded expectations. I don't recall purposely getting thing wrong, but I do know I would just not answer. When I was in grade one we had daily spelling challenges, you get one right you get candy, I would sit by myself spelling the words to myself, refusing to answer, repeating to myself that " these kids don't know what is going on? We are here to learn not for candy." Eventually I began to walk with the herd, I forgot about my intuitions and started to just react. I had a flawed view of the world and couldn't see that I was no longer impartial. I began to be happy, basically becoming ignorant to the world.
Around this time I started to become aware I was having visual distortions I couldn't account for. I would see tiny globes and snow in my vision, the only way I could describe this is I saw atoms. My one close friend said he saw them to, to this day I am still unsure if he did or not. I used him as a question seeker and told my parents that B was saying he could see atoms, what was wrong with him? They just said he was seeking attention, so I kept it to myself that I was seeing them to. Basically keeping a secret for my whole life.
I continue to see them, though had forgotten about or even gotten use to them. Now though I get intense distortions, like it I am staring at something concrete like lined piece of paper, the lines warp and push on each other, then I can just snap back to reality. Sometimes its scary in the sense that I feel no one will understand, but then I feel like I have something that no one can ever experience.
Currently I am diagnosed with GAD, HPPD, DPD, and schizoid typal personality disorder, none I see as a burden, besides the excessive worry.
On a side note I was in the shower and started to think what if we could develop drugs that are classified as sympatheogens, or in other words they give you an experience that you can sympathize with another about. Anyway any others out there.
Peace
Despite the majority of people saying I was special, I denied it and convinced myself I just wasn't stupid. Through school I never had problems, though I never exceeded expectations. I don't recall purposely getting thing wrong, but I do know I would just not answer. When I was in grade one we had daily spelling challenges, you get one right you get candy, I would sit by myself spelling the words to myself, refusing to answer, repeating to myself that " these kids don't know what is going on? We are here to learn not for candy." Eventually I began to walk with the herd, I forgot about my intuitions and started to just react. I had a flawed view of the world and couldn't see that I was no longer impartial. I began to be happy, basically becoming ignorant to the world.
Around this time I started to become aware I was having visual distortions I couldn't account for. I would see tiny globes and snow in my vision, the only way I could describe this is I saw atoms. My one close friend said he saw them to, to this day I am still unsure if he did or not. I used him as a question seeker and told my parents that B was saying he could see atoms, what was wrong with him? They just said he was seeking attention, so I kept it to myself that I was seeing them to. Basically keeping a secret for my whole life.
I continue to see them, though had forgotten about or even gotten use to them. Now though I get intense distortions, like it I am staring at something concrete like lined piece of paper, the lines warp and push on each other, then I can just snap back to reality. Sometimes its scary in the sense that I feel no one will understand, but then I feel like I have something that no one can ever experience.
Currently I am diagnosed with GAD, HPPD, DPD, and schizoid typal personality disorder, none I see as a burden, besides the excessive worry.
On a side note I was in the shower and started to think what if we could develop drugs that are classified as sympatheogens, or in other words they give you an experience that you can sympathize with another about. Anyway any others out there.
Peace