Jokes for laughs

lmao^

okay so a white guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees the BIGGEST black guy EVER just chilling on the other side of the elevator car. The black guy notices this dude staring at him so he looks down and says:

6'9", 380 pounds, 18 inches, turner brown.

the white guy goes stark white and faints right there in the elevator. The huge guy bends over and slaps him till he comes to. The white guy jumps up and says 'hey man what did you just say to me?!'

and the black guy says I noticed you staring so I just answered what everyone wants to ask me: I'm 6 foot 9 inches tall, i weigh 380 pounds, my cock is 18 inches long, and my name is turner brown.

OOOOH says the white dude. i thought you said 'TURN AROUND'

two old stoned hippies, Videoman and Roseman are sitting on the small boat pier, at the Okeefanokee swamp in Florida, sharing one of Videoman's mazer Joints. they have removed their shoes and are dangling their feet in the warm swampy water. Then videoman rolls a 2nd Joint and they smoke it. After about a half hour of silence Roseman turns to Videoman and says:
Hay, Man, one of these damned aligators just bite my leg off"!!!
Videoman replies "which one?"
to which Roseman answers: "Hell, I don't know, all of these aligators look alike to me"~!!!!

This is a good thread... LOL

Jordy Villain said:

lmao^

okay so a white guy walks into an elevator, looks up and sees the BIGGEST black guy EVER just chilling on the other side of the elevator car. The black guy notices this dude staring at him so he looks down and says:

6'9", 380 pounds, 18 inches, turner brown.

the white guy goes stark white and faints right there in the elevator. The huge guy bends over and slaps him till he comes to. The white guy jumps up and says 'hey man what did you just say to me?!'

and the black guy says I noticed you staring so I just answered what everyone wants to ask me: I'm 6 foot 9 inches tall, i weigh 380 pounds, my cock is 18 inches long, and my name is turner brown.

OOOOH says the white dude. i thought you said 'TURN AROUND'

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Funny as fuck. Def' a plus rep for this one.

i went into woolworths today and saw this blind guy pick up his dog and start swinging it around his head,so i went over to him and asked "what the fuck are you doing ? "he replied " just havin a look round "

a woman is lying in bed reading a book ,when the door opens and her husband walks in with a sheep under his arm and says "this is the pig i fuck when youve got a head ache " the wife looks up and says "i think u will find that is a sheep" the husband replies " i wasnt talking to you"

I like being a part of your joke, thats funny!
WTF roseman, you cant bring your own weed?
See, thats what you get for bumming.
Peace

Roseman said:

two old stoned hippies, Videoman and Roseman are sitting on the small boat pier, at the Okeefanokee swamp in Florida, sharing one of Videoman's mazer Joints. they have removed their shoes and are dangling their feet in the warm swampy water. Then videoman rolls a 2nd Joint and they smoke it. After about a half hour of silence Roseman turns to Videoman and says:
Hay, Man, one of these damned aligators just bite my leg off"!!!
Videoman replies "which one?"
to which Roseman answers: "Hell, I don't know, all of these aligators look alike to me"~!!!!

Click to expand...

why does dr pepper come in bottles ? .......................he hasnt got a girlfriend ;o/

man oh man, with them eyes, if you got baked and went out....you'd need like a gallon of visene! lol

One day Nongreenthumb, russ0r and videoman are out for a walk, the find this bar and they go inside.

Inside are a bunch of mean bikers, and they tell the dashing trio that if they want to get out of the pub alive then they are going to have to prove themselves as men.

So the lead biker says to the trio, ok you boys, we wanna see the size of your dicks and if you got 21 inches of cock between you, then you can leave alive.

So Nongreenthumb gets his out and says there you go 10 inches shouldnt be too hard now.

Then its russ0r's turn, russ gets it out and shows 9 inches.

Nongreenthumb and russ0r turn to each other and nod and say its in the bag.

Videoman steps up to the plates and gets it out. 3 Inches.
Yes the trio roared we did it, and they all got out alive.

On the way home nongreenthumb says Its a good job i had 10 inches, russ0r said its a good job 9 inches, videoman said its a good job i had an erection

yeah, that was goof NGT, I'll give ya that one!
ROFLMAO

An intelligent man and an intelligent woman and santa claus are all in a lift.

Theres a 50 dollar bill on the floor who picks it up.







The intelligent man as the other two dont exist

Sorry this is a bad one i know, but still


Whats blue and fucks grannies




Hypothermia

Whats grey sits at the end of the bed and takes the piss.


A kidney dialasys machine.


I am sorry for these jokes they are not meant to offend, they are just jokes

I love hunting on Easter morning!

Thats just sick dude

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my fiancee kept hinting to
me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the leaky taps, the truck, the car, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived
home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping
away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short
time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I
came out again, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep
the driveway".
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Moral to this story:
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband

Look whos talking! lol

nongreenthumb said:

Thats just sick dude

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videoman40 said:

Look whos talking! lol

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I think he's talking about the wasted eggs. Also, that rabbit should quite clearly be skinned and ready for boiling. A few potatoes, carrots, broccoli and any other vegetable you might put into a stew, dumplings... touch of salt. Yum.