I recently realized that all of the people that I would consider my friends happen to be from single parent or split up familys. My own dad died when I was nine or ten and I then realised that the significantly different upbringing I've had is what ties me to the people I consider friends. The level of split between these people and other people I just talk to is huge, and it's not something I ever intended or realised was happening.
I believe at least part of the reason I have such experience with drugs is to do with this. I have detatched hard from normality and have to make an effort to blend in.
I can also see myself from the outside. The easiest example is when people get drunk to chat to a girl. If they use drugs on a regular basis, not just at a big party once a year, there is a good chance they're having to deal with something.
Your average normal person doesn't understand that, they see you trying to escape and something inside them can tell that something is wrong - even though they don't understand why you've decided to start doing what you have. Girls usually want someone to look after them, and guys want to look after girls, so it's usually more apparent if you're a guy and doing it.
The older I get, the more I realise how substantial the difference between myself and the everyday person is - in both a bad and good way. I can try to avoid drugs and be a 'pure representation of myself' but I also can't blot out the last ten years or my present situation. I don't think you should have to give something up for someone if they're not equally willing, but you should be able to feel why they want it and try to understand how they must be seeing it.
I went fk'ing crazy on the gym over the last two years. It was horrible. I ran with in snow and rain with my fingers feeling like they were being cut off with razor blades from the cold, but I love the fact I did it, and my body looks better than anyone else I know. Let's not fuck around, looks are just as important as personality. Everyone can achieve a magazine type body, it's pure determination. If there's one thing I can tell you, it's that - determination alone, it will hurt.
Start working out and cutting back on the junk, then try to look at yourself as if you were someone else and you're face had just appeared infront of them and started chatting - what would you think of you?