Funny Sex Stories

[mr sunshine]

In kings county got my dick sucked on the front porch and some school. Got some in the traphouse on belmont. Dick suced all day every day until her man came down form washington. I think at that point she was pregnant with my bby she aborted.

Tell us about your parkway storys!!

 

[iconoclast]

alright i know we have all had some funny sex stories...so lets here them

one time me and hubby were sitting in drs office...and this one dr always is like 2 hours behind schedule, so as we are sitting there we decided to sneak off for a quicky in the bathroom, well lets just say that never happened, we started and when we leaned up against the sink, the sink broke off the wall and the pipe exploded, i had to go back into the drs office and tell them "i said i went to use the bathroom and when i entered the sink was off the wall" i think they new it was me...lets just say i changed drs after that hahahahahahahahahaha

You should have gotten a new doctor after the first time he made you wait 2 hours. Geez.

 

[iconoclast]

I was doing a particularly good job one afternoon on my psychotic late wife (no I did not kill her) when at the height of an orgasm she cried out. "No Grandpa please stop, I promise I'll be good".

Wait........that wasn't funny and it creeps me out to this day.

You sick fuck, leave your granddaughter alone!

 

[puffdatchronic]

Your penis must not have much girth.....imo The fact that when your pounding air is constantly getting trapped then forced out of a vagina by your penis is nothing to be ashamed about. .or maybe the vagina is super loose!

two words my friend.. child birth. It does loosen shit up.. my advice is don't have kids if you value a tight vag..

my penis is average, I actually girth measured it the other night, I got 7 inches girth, not really thick but not too bad

 

[mr sunshine]

two words my friend.. child birth. It does loosen shit up.. my advice is don't have kids if you value a tight vag..

my penis is average, I actually girth measured it the other night, I got 7 inches girth, not really thick but not too bad

That's scary I'll try to stall as long as I can...I will definitely not abuse my girls buthole anymore... I'm going to preserve it for the future. .

 

[mr sunshine]

I went home wit dis chica in the burque and it was all good then I started boning her in the morning again.. and she was like I want you to pee in me...

and I was like whaaa.........and she was like I want you to pee....inside me....

and I was like whaaaa.....so I peeed in the bitch and she started making exorcist noises..so I just kept on fuckin

It was pretty weird

It's nice to know people like that exist!!

 

[S3love]

[/QUOTE]

Ever got head,,,,,,, but you was so drunk and high you passed out?

Or

Tried to fuck on extacy but your dick wouldnt say hard?

I have had sex on e and acid, wat an experience

 

[S3love]

I've passed out before. .

When I'm thizzing I can fuck for hours .. If there's coke involved it's all bad I ain't getting hard!

Jeeze guys something isnt right here hahaha my hubby can always get hard no matter wat drug we take, ive had sex with him on acid, e, coke, crack, heroin....basically everything...so wat r u guys doing wrong hahahahaha

 

[mr sunshine]

Jeeze guys something isnt right here hahaha my hubby can always get hard no matter wat drug we take, ive had sex with him on acid, e, coke, crack, heroin....basically everything...so wat r u guys doing wrong hahahahaha

Mixing everything together and washing it down with jager bombs!!

 

[S3love]

Mixing everything together and washing it down with jager bombs!!

Hahahahaha I be like the girl in archer always carrying the jager machine around hahahahahaha

 

[thump easy]

I got to many to tell I think I won't anymore!!!

 

[bu$hleaguer]

A bunch of years ago, I can't really remember how old I was actually- too young to defend myself anyway! Well my dad and my brother and I got totally wasted. It didn't take very long for me as a toddler obviously! Next thing I know we're all wasted and touching each others dongs and shit. Only minor penetration happened, nothing to write home about anyway. We all passed out and boy were we laughing when we woke up!!! Hahahahaha, what a hoot!

 

[DonAlejandroVega]

A bunch of years ago, I can't really remember how old I was actually- too young to defend myself anyway! Well my dad and my brother and I got totally wasted. It didn't take very long for me as a toddler obviously! Next thing I know we're all wasted and touching each others dongs and shit. Only minor penetration happened, nothing to write home about anyway. We all passed out and boy were we laughing when we woke up!!! Hahahahaha, what a hoot!

winner of Disturbing Childhood Stories goes to.....................

 

[bu$hleaguer]

winner of Disturbing Childhood Stories goes to.....................

Is that disturbing? Oh shit I thought everyone did that!

 

[DonAlejandroVega]

Mixing everything together and washing it down with jager bombs!!

I drink those to wash away the taste of the bath salts

 

[bu$hleaguer]

By the way I hope everyone realizes I made that shit up

 

[iconoclast]

One time I had sex in Walmart dressing room and bathroom.

Oh yea and the time in the school auditorium or wait how bout in a car while her husband drove!

Wait you said funny....

Did he know what was going on?

 

[bu$hleaguer]

two words my friend.. child birth. It does loosen shit up.. my advice is don't have kids if you value a tight vag..

my penis is average, I actually girth measured it the other night, I got 7 inches girth, not really thick but not too bad

Nice average girth, bro!

 

[bu$hleaguer]

I fingered a chick sitting in the backseat from the front passenger seat while my dad was driving one time when I was younger. I feel
like he knew what was up because he was pretty pissed later on, but it was what it was.

 

[mr sunshine]

By the way I hope everyone realizes I made that shit up

Lies!!

I fingered a chick sitting in the backseat from the front passenger seat while my dad was driving one time when I was younger. I feel
like he knew what was up because he was pretty pissed later on, but it was what it was.

a chick??? More lies!!