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What the penis feels, the mind believes. Next time you're in that situation, halfway through take off the blind fold and yell out "AH-HA!!" Also it's only gay if your balls touch. So if the... person... didn't have their danglers touch your danglers then it's all good in the hood yo.

I think she's more worried about driving it in traffic as opposed to me driving it into a ditch. It does run, and I drove it to work last week. Couldn't ride it home because it was out of gas. Get's good millage but has a small tank. I'm just hoping to get what I paid for it, so 300$

Says it's too dangerous, and is afraid I'll kill myself on it. I'm back to taking the bus for the time being. If I can get my money back for the minibike, tack on my next two paychecks (minus basic living expenses) I'll be able to make a down payment on a car, and she's agreed to cosign a loan...

trust me, if I had any choice in the matter I'd be keeping it. The thing is a blast to ride. The guy that sold it to me smoked me out on dank before I rode it home. So I'm riding through wooded back roads on the little mini bike, high as hell with "born to be wild" playing through my head...

So I bought a minibike as a way to get to work and back. Wife took one look at it and said "hell no" So now I'm trying to sell it. Problem is... I don't know anything about it, as far as manufacturer, model, or even age. I know it's got a 2 stroke pull start and takes a 2/7 gas/oil mixture (7...

So I was so excited to not have to ride the bus again. Yesterday I was sitting at the back and this older woman (50ish) is sitting in front of me. Well she starts looking at dick picks on her phone, and every once in a while she would glance over her shoulder at me. When we got to her stop and...

IT's mother fuckin PAYDAY bitches!!! Wife cut me a break on the rent so I can get a scooter and not have to take the bus anymore. Think she's tired of having to wake up with me at fuckthat AM to drive me to work on days I go in early.

Guy walks into a doctors office to get his test results back. The doctor says, "We have good news and bad news" The guy responds, "Okay well what's the good news?" Doctor replies, "We're naming a horribly painful, terminal illness after you." I got my psychiatrist notes about me today...

I'm from Texas but don't have an accent. A lot of people I meet are surprised when they find out where I'm from. Living in Texas people thought I was from the North East. Kinda weird. I don't really notice southern accents really, but that's mostly because I've grew up in the south. The cowboy...

Walking to the store today, some guy asked for a cigarette right as I was pulling out my pack to light a smoke. The look on his face when I said I don't smoke and then lit a cigarette right in front of him was priceless.

I've come to realize that the only way I'll ever be in a harem situation is if I were to fuck a chick with multiple personalities.

My thoughts exactly. I'm usually cool with customers. Even when they're cussing me out for their own stupidity (we can't make returns without receipt's people). But that was going to be my first club commission, which is what irritated me so much about it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day...

I've never wanted to smack an old woman so badly in my life. Was called to the register while helping customers on the floor. Well I had just talked this guy into buying a club membership (which adds a small commission), and had to ring him up. So As I was on my way to the register I sign in...

Not in the slightest. I was an asshole in my youth, especially when I was drinking. I've grown up a lot since then.

Hobo's need love too.

I once rubbed one out in the doctors office. Was almost done when they told me "sir, you can't do that in the waiting room."

This one time I was fucking my ex in the bathroom. Well she flipped over so we could go at it doggy style, and when i look down to watch myself I noticed she had a bit of poop clinging to her butthole. So without missing a beat, I snatched a square of toilet paper, wiped her ass, and threw it...

Well here's what you need to do. Return that shirt. It looks ridiculous. Unless you like the brokeback look. Now that that's taken care of. Use the money you got back from buying the shirt (plus your 20% store credit, for yelling at the cashier because she let you walk out of the store looking...

No hangover today, at least nothing to severe. Drank a liter of water before bed. Woke up with a killer headache, so I took some Ibprofen, and bought some Gatorade on my way to work. By the time I clocked in I was feeling fine. Dinner turned out edible. It was spaghetti... I think.

When I have the munchies, there is only requirement. And that is that the food has to be edible. Even then it's more of a guideline.