Hey, thanks for all the super positive comments. Shit.
One time Kitty posted that she wished she could explain what it's like to be a grower in BC. I'm starting to feel similar stirrings. The secrecy of this lifestyle tends to bottle up emotions that would otherwise be released on a regular basis. Guys go to the pub and bitch about work all the time. Career victories are celebrated. Job stresses are talked about and worked through with friends, family, and other people at work. Most people talk about their careers all the time...and with a broad range of people. Not so much in this line.
I started growing with my cousin as a partner in 1990. As we were discussing how not to get caught, he told me "if you need to talk to somebody, call me...only me". He already knew the pressures of an underground lifestyle. In fact, he had just gotten released from prison when we started doing this. He knew all to well that the vast majority of busted guys were the result of rats. I had dabbled in brokering some large pot buys, but nothing full time. I had a real job, made good $$$, had a great house, had a cool chick...life was good. What I didn't know was that entering into this secret world would come with a cost. It seems simple...just don't tell anybody. It is simple. But it's not easy. I've never been the same. Before grow op my life was totally transparent. I never had any secrets or anything to be ashamed of. Ever since then an ever increasing portion of my life has been a secret...known only to the Chosen Few.
This thread has been a great place for me to vent a little. And, of course, laws have changed and the need for absolute secrecy has given way to having lawyers and plants counts. But secrecy is still very important...if not for the cops, for the thieves. Most of you have probably noticed that there are several things I never mention on this thread. Even here I have to "sensor" what I say. A smart person could go through the thread and piece together my approx yield is Lbs/month, but I never say it. And I would never talk about how much money I make. That's rude in any line. Location, of course doesn't come up. Then there's the secrets of other people. I have alot of friends with big ass grow ops. They have placed their very lives and freedom in my hands. But, when you see some of these ops you just HAVE to share it with someone. Before this thread I wouldn't say a word. It's been nice to be able to share some of their stories here without violating their trust in me.
When Kitty said she wanted people to know what it was like, she was frustrated because she knew that no matter how much or how good she wrote, very few people would actually be able to feel what she has felt. The growing experience is a complex and emotional issue. It's one thing to have a 4k bedroom grow op. It's another to have made a living on growing for the vast majority of your adult life. It becomes a big part of who you are. It can become who you are. I've lived in several states, lived with several women, had several houses, and have had several "real" jobs. The one constant has been growing. Everytime I would break up with a girlfriend I would start a massive grow op. Out with the girl, in with the plants.
I could write for a dozen pages explaining just one grow op, and all the feelings that went with it. It's been a lifetime of wonderful experiences. Growing can be so fufilling, and yet draining all at the same time. It evokes many more emotions than other careers. There's so much at stake all the time. I'm going to try and convey some of those feelings here once in a while. I know that I love hearing Kitty's experiences as a BC grower. I hope that someone may get a kick out of some of my experiences as a California commercial grower.
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