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The Brat has a crazy fever, can't get it down with bucketfuls of Calpol, its eyes are glazed and sunken and it keeps passing out all over the place (it got sent home from nursery for passing out in a corner - I'm a Bad Bad Mother for sending her to nursery when ill, but come on, at least there...

Thank you for calling cunts and monkeys. I'm their lawyer. How may I help you?

Ah man you need to stop making me laugh like this, particularly when I'm drinking something hot :D :D

Where's jack? Tell him to check his emails for promised nude pics. Hiya Yorkie, nice to see you and your banana back on the forum... Mmmm bananas, are there any bananas at home? back in a bit...

Hey boys and girls (finally I can use the plural form of girl!!!) - first meal since last thursday: soup and breadsticks. TTT would be proud of me :D Any news from him?

I like you :D

Huh, my first winter in the UK for over a decade and I only got one proper snowfall - I'm still gutted :)

This is why they should never have abolished child labour.

@DST: like like like :D

[blonde hair looking like it's been the victim of the blast from a bomb] Morning mate, reeeeeally hope so - it's not the scottish eagles that pose a problem but the english rats this end *fuming*

What's with the UK and all this freakin sunshine and birdsong and stuff? Morning all, it's the forum's favourite Scrooge, here to spread Spring cheer and goodwill :D

Originally from, then lived abroad for years, now back again and a little disorientated =) Yeah but depending whereabouts you are on the north-south axis, we could be talking about west yorkshire or west midlands or ummm southwest england.... I just wondered if there was an unspoken consensus...

I'm a stranger around these parts, Cat. What does The West mean in England? Just had a flashback to the first time I saw that whopping great sign above the motorway - THE NORTH with a big arrow pointing north.

Don I've been considering it seriously for months now, but it was FM's existence that made me hesitate, law-abiding health freak that he is. Well maybe I might be able to afford the rent with all the money I'll save on air freshener with him out of the picture :D :D OK boys, help me brainstorm...

Dude believe me I've thought about it but I can't afford the rent by myself, plus the arsehole is now saying that me and Brat have to leave, not him. Mind you I am this close to going to live in a box in SSB's basement now that I've given up on the idea of replacing Arsehole with TTT :D

Glad to hear everybody had a riotous weekend *sulks* Mine was crap. Luckily the crappest part just ended - flatmate just left, gone for a couple of days - but now I have a weed crisis on my hands. Typical. I think tomorrow I might do something rebellious. I haven't stepped out of line for...

Hey I can't possibly admit ignorance anywhere else but here, I have a know-it-all arrogance to maintain in the real world :D Yeah I know there are a zillion YouTube vids out there if you search for "lower abs" but why spend two days comparing and contrasting the claims of a zilllion anonymous...

*rubbing neck* You got that right, only I thought I was doing something wrong.

Today is my abs day and I hate abs days :( Tell me mate - do you work your lower abs separately or do you belong to the school of thought whereby anything that works the upper abs (like crunches) also works the lower abs?

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